Hi Guys,
In this articles area I and my friends at Meet Your Sweet will be sharing with you lots of different dating tips for men. Check back for more updates.
Today I’m writing about the rules of engagement when dating women…
It’s always a good move to be prepared for the unexpected when you’re out on a date with that gorgeous new woman that you’ve just met. She might seem sweet now, but don’t rule out the possibility of not seeing eye to eye on everything you’ll talk about.
From any way you look at it, you are two different people that have separate opinions and biases. For all you know, the most fundamental beliefs that you hold dear could violently clash with hers.
Perhaps she might have some pet peeve that happens to be something you’re passionate about. Maybe you made a passing comment about her favorite show, and she starts to flake out.
Badly handled, it could spell disaster for the rest of the evening.
It’s really something you have to expect with any date you’re on. It’s important to know this now so that you won’t be caught off-guard when a disagreement suddenly creeps out of nowhere.
Otherwise, you’ll end up knee-deep in a downward spiral of petty arguments faster than you can say, “Check, please!”
You see, getting into an argument with your date is like opening a can of worms. One seemingly small issue can multiply into a full-scale dating disaster. It’s never a pleasant thing to do, and no one wants to end up in such a position.
As such, think of disagreements as a kind of armed conflict. Even wars have limits; situations like these still go by some unspoken rules.
Even if you don’t end up in a passionate relationship with her, it is still important to know how to handle arguments that may suddenly sneak up on you during your night out with her.
A vital rule of thumb to go by is to NOT lose your cool. Emotions may seem like they’re pulling you in a certain direction, but ultimately you can decide whether to give in to them or not.
To be specific, anger is one feeling that can greatly influence the course of the date.
Being in control of your emotions is the mark of a mature and attractive man. No matter how you look at it, losing your temper is also losing face in a woman’s eyes.
Even if she does or says something that you find disagreeable, a real man doesn’t have to get sucked into her words or actions.
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My friend Roger was one such guy who had the dilemma of choosing between looking childish or keeping it together.
“I was already deep into my second date with Kyla when we got into a discussion about pets”, he said with a chuckle. Roger continued, “I suppose it all seems funny now, but I didn’t feel humorous when she mentioned how much she hated dogs.”
For Roger, Kyla’s disdain for dogs (and her scathing comments) cut him deep. As a boy, he had developed a huge liking for dogs because he had one as a pet during his childhood.
“Looking back, growing up alongside a puppy was very profound to me. It was even a bigger deal to me when my dog passed away just after my elementary years.”
As you’ll probably guess, Kyla’s declaration that dogs were “slimy, filthy creatures that make (her) skin crawl” was not taken lightly by Roger. “At that point”, he mused, “something inside me just clicked.”
This is where he stood up and politely excused himself to go the men’s room. “I figured that she was probably unfortunate enough to have a bad experience with dogs”, Roger later told me. “Chances are, Kyla was either bitten or chased by a stray mutt”, he concluded.
Whatever her reasons were, Roger was wise enough to hold his tongue and empathized with his date instead. I know that it isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep your temper in check.
That brings us to another important “rule”: don’t try to reason with your date, especially if she’s upset. Although the matter of settling arguments may differ from when you’re already far into a relationship, this is still the soundest piece of advice you can use.
Don’t forget that when it comes to things like dating, women are more likely to operate on emotions rather than logic. They are naturally predisposed to rely on their gut feelings when deciding if they like a man or not.
In short, a woman tends to associate certain types of guys with certain emotions. One of the principles of attraction and seduction is to induce good feelings within her.
Once she links these positive emotions to you, it’s easier for a girl to see you as more than just another guy.
With those reasons, you shouldn’t try to rationalize why you’re right and she’s wrong. Engaging her on a purely logical level will most probably be an exercise in futility.
Even if you are right, she will only resent you for it. Dragging out the disagreement by reasoning with her will only escalate things further.
When those feelings snowball into a full-blown debate, you can guess whom she’ll associate those negative emotions with.
Like I said, she has to have positive feelings and link those to YOU. Attraction is all about making her feel safe and comfortable.
Trying to win a debate is never going to help you achieve the results you desire.
Men have always been stereotyped as rational beings rather than emotional ones. Women tell us all the time that we like to play it cool and don’t seem fazed by anything.
They get frustrated that we don’t talk a great deal about our emotions like they do. Of course, the smart man doesn’t bother breaking this notion (during the courtship phase at least).
Even if women preferred that we were more emotional, we’re a lot more attractive by not appearing weak or easily swayed by our feelings.
In the long run, women respect guys who don’t lose a grip on themselves. It’s ultimately more appealing not to let them see you sweat. Girls are more into guys that are mature and in control.
You need to ask yourself: if I take it personally, will my reaction really benefit the date, or my personal growth for that matter?
Instead of respecting her opinion (no matter how insane it seems at the time), will answering her back be truly worth it? Do I really want to turn a date into a failure by foolishly starting a fight?
The next time that you feel an argument coming on, use the situation as an opportunity to show that you’re a grown-up. As far as the big picture is concerned, she’ll appreciate that you kept your cool.
After all, even if she turns out to be someone you’d rather not date in the future, it shouldn’t be a big deal. In case things don’t turn out the way you want them to, there are other women out there who will be a better match for you.
Knowing this valuable truth is very helpful to make you care all the less if your current date happens to have a personality problem. Of course, there’s no reason NOT to be a gentleman. It only means that it’s not the end of your dating life.
At the end of the day, you can go home telling yourself that you acted like a mature man, and no one can take that away from you.
Your Friend,
Slade Shaw
For the ultimate guide to meeting, attracting and seducing women, check out: Click This