Last time, we covered a three-step plan to overcome failure. In one of the points we discussed, I touched on how important it is to be a good conversationlist to be more attractive to women.
Today, I’d like to get more into that area. A lot of guys in the seduction community go by the maxim, “Attraction is not a choice”, and for good reason. They understand that saying the right things will flip some swtiches that will make her attracted to you, whether she wants to or not.
This is why being good at chit-chat is an essential piece of the attraction puzzle as it helps raise your social value in a woman’s eyes.
To get you started on your path to greater dating success, check out these three tips:
#1: Use Those Ears!
One of the most common (and perfectly avoidable) reasons why men crash and burn is that they take the simple act of listening for granted.
Here’s the thing: women relate to each other by paying attention to what the other girl has to say. To them, lending an ear helps them bond better because they can respond to other’s statements accordingly.
When men get together, we’re usually competitive in our conversations, trying to outdo the other as a way of playful banter.
To get on a girl’s good side, you need to adjust your conversational style to better suit the situation. She’s not one of the guys, so don’t waste your time trying to come up with something cool to say.
Instead, make her feel special by giving her your undivided attention. As an added bonus, paying attention to the details of her life will help you learn more on what’s she’s all about.
For instance, learning about the things that appeal to her allows you to mirror these things when it’s your turn to talk. If she gives you an earful about her favorite movie genre – like say, indie flicks for example – then you can talk about your own interests in a way that relates to her own reasons for liking said stuff.
Perhaps you can mention a certain movie you truly liked and then described it something like: “Personally, I’m more of an all-around guy when it comes to movies, but I did like (insert title here). The ending basically went against the grain of the usual clichés and actually challenged people’s perceptions instead of catering to them, you know what I mean? Maybe I’m just rambling…what do you think??”
Congratulations! You’ve just created some middle ground.
#2: Emotions Are King
Here’s another key difference between the way men and women talk. Guys are usually focused on delivering the facts while women generally talk from an emotional perspective.
We’re simply built this way, so use it to your advantage by not just describing what happened, but also the feelings involved.
This is particularly effective when you’re storytelling. Let’s say for instance that you’re telling a girl about the time this drunk guy on the street was bothering you. Here are two ways to tell the same story:
a) “I went out to pick up some soda from 7-11 when this drunk guy was bugging me for some change. He was in my face for like, five minutes straight. I couldn’t believe the nerve of that joker!”
b) “I just stepped out of 7-11 and was minding my own business when I felt a heavy tap on my shoulder and turned around. I was surprised to see this guy, drunk as heck, asking me for some change. Boy, his booze breath made me want to bolt out of there. The people nearby were chuckling, too – the whole thing felt surreal!”
Obviously, option b is better because it paints a more vivid picture by highlighting the emotional details of your story. This is a nifty trick that will have a powerful effect on a woman’s psyche.
Talking her language will make it easier for her to develop a bond with you since emotional storytelling also flips those attraction switches we talked about earlier.
But to really turn up the attraction, read on…
#3: Talk About Romantic Stuff
Ron Louis and David Copeland, author of “How To Succeed With Women”, says that asking the right questions is a great way to flirt with a girl.
This goes back to the principle of appealing to her on an emotional level. By “picking her brain”, you create a positive vibe in the process while getting to know her.
But how do you go about it? For starters, you have to introduce questions in a way that doesn’t make you seem to aggressive or pushy about being romantic.
You can achieve this in three steps: make an opening, describe the feelings involved, and get to the actual question.
The first step is to inject a little context that will justify your question later on. Next, you need to inject some descriptive emotions in the same way we’ve described in #2, but this time in a more romantic sense. Lastly, introduce your question by asking her opinion on the matter.
Here’s an example:
“My co-worker was telling me about this date he was on last week (context). He asked out this girl to dinner, but she got the surprise of her life. She thought it was going to be at a typical restaurant but she was blown away to find out they were going to have dinner by the beach. He had a picnic blanket ready, along with a bottle of wine and her favorite food. Gotta hand it to the guy – she was over the moon (describing emotions). So I was wondering – do you think most women would dig that? (question)”
By “most women”, you mean her. Setting up the question like this will help her connect your presence to romantic notions, which of course, is a good thing. Just be careful not to overdo it though; you don’t want to seem too forward at the beginning.
Be creative and come up with your own questions with this basic structure. Recall past experiences, observations or first-hand accounts from other people. Once you’ve developed a handful of these, you’ll find it easy to be romantic in a subtle way.
The tricky thing about attracting women through conversation is that early on, you need to establish yourself as a romantic prospect instead of a platonic friend. At the same time however, you can’t just come in with guns blazing since it might drive her off.
But like we’ve just talked about today, there are practical ways around this dilemma. In the long run, good conversational skills beat memorizing an artificial-sounding script.