How To Fail With Women

In the dating scene, a lot of men put themselves in a do-or-die situation. Not surprisingly, they end up messing up badly.

Here’s a typical situation: a guy walks into a bar (no, this isn’t a joke) and a striking brunette catches his eye.

He looks at her across the room, takes a few hesitant steps closer to her as thinks about the outcome. He hovers closer, takes a couple more glances at his target and tells himself, “Here I go…”

If you’re like this, you need to STOP. By the time you finish uttering that line to yourself, you will have blown your approach.

Chances are, you’d probably open up the conversation by offering her a drink or complimenting her looks. You’d probably drone on and on about how you’re this really cool guy, basically trying to “sell” yourself to her.

The problem with this mindset is that it doesn’t convey the SOCIAL VALUE you need to keep her interested. All she’ll see is another needy sap, begging for her approval.

Don’t forget: she’s probably dealt with a hundred other guys just like you and sent them all packing. Do you want to be another statistic in her book?

The antidote to this approach to be her equal and by not focusing solely on her looks or making her feel entitled to adulation because of it. Show her (through your words and body language) that you’re prepared to walk away if she doesn’t have anything else going for her aside from her figure (i.e. being witty, humorous, etc.).

And this isn’t a matter of arrogance or acting superior to women in general- it’s simply valuing yourself enough NOT to throw yourself before a stranger based on looks alone. Who does that kind of crap?

Not a self-respecting man, that’s for sure.

It’s about knowing that you deserve someone who can balance beauty, brains and being good-natured.

Don’t you think you should give yourselves a chance to know each other before professing your love, proposing to her and making promises of living happily ever after?

(Exaggerating, I know. But you get the point.)

Instead, put on a relaxed aura by having no intentions other than chewing the fat, shooting the breeze, or however you want to call it.

The important thing is you’re not after anything else than the pleasure of her company – nothing more. Otherwise, you risk scaring her off by coming on too heavy, too fast.

If you pressure yourself to the point where you feel like you’ve got a gun to your head, it’s pretty much impossible to be at ease. Women will pick up on this nervous disposition and feel uneasy as well.

But I can’t just tell you, “Relax around women!” and then expect you to genuinely act like it right away. Turning a needy attitude to a self-confident one takes time to develop.

With that, I offer you a three-step plan:

a) Repeat to yourself daily: “I’m fine just as I am, and a relationship doesn’t define my self-worth.” The neediest men are those who think they’re “broken” or “missing” in some way, so they think women can somehow fill the void. WRONG. Putting any girl in that position is guaranteed to freak her out!

b) To be genuinely happy with who you are, you need to pay attention to the other areas in your life. For inside-out fulfillment, work on your career and hobbies while maintaining your social circles as well. Here’s a tip: this is especially important AFTER you’ve entered a relationship because you can’t afford to lose your individuality (i.e. qualities that make you attractive to women).

c) Learn to talk to everyone around you, and not just the hot women. Being good at approaching women starts with being at schmoozing – and this often means making observations and using them in the conversation. This applies to even the most everyday of situations, like when you’re chatting with the guy at cash register or the 60-year old lady at the newsstand you pass everyday. You’re not trying to be buddies for life; talking for the fun of it is its own reward. When you can adapt the same non-needy attitude around women, you’ll have a higher success rate.

You could skip this whole process and take the “easier” path of memorizing certain routines that you can use on women, but it’s not going to hold up in the greater context of attraction and dating.

Sorting out this stuff only seems like a lot of ground to cover NOW. Once you’ve actually gotten yourself into this three-step process, you’ll find that it’s really not all that time-consuming.

Besides, this is going to benefit you as a WHOLE, regardless of whether you happen to be single or not. Once you have enough stuff going on in your life and become more comfortable with people, the side benefit is a CONFIDENT vibe that women find inviting.