Every guy knows that self confidence is a basic building block for attracting women. The problem is that there is a big difference between knowing the path and actually walking it.
It’s not enough to be aware that you have to be confident to be appealing to women. You also have to cultivate the proper mindset to turn yourself into this kind of guy.
While being more confident is a daily, on-going process, you can make a HUGE breakthrough starting today. It all begins with those first few steps you can take right now – check this out:
#1: Embrace Your Imperfection
One of the biggest obstacles to self-confidence is not having the right perspective. What exactly do I mean by this? Well, it all starts with the basic way you perceive yourself.
At some fundamental level, a lot of guys struggle with being confident because they think there is something inherently wrong with them. It’s from this deep-seated belief that makes them feel awkward about themselves in some way, or think that no one would ever see them as attractive.
Most of the time, the way that you look – or rather, the importance you place on it – forms the core of these negative thoughts. What you have to remember is that even the guys who get a lot of dates experience a deal of self doubt.
The difference with these guys is that they’ve trained themselves to shut off this distracting noise in their heads and manage their negative thoughts before it gets the best of them.
After all, it’s these very things that eat away at your self-confidence.
If you’ve read one of our previous articles before, you’ll realize that while looks have a place in dating, it’s not the end-all be-all to the game.
If you’re having a hard time believing this, wrap your mind around this question:
Should you feel lacking in some way just because you’re not the male perfect specimen?
Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure there are a lot of guys who are dating (or end up marrying) good-looking women even if they’re not one of those airbrushed male models you see on those billboards.
In fact, average dudes outnumber the ridiculously good-looking ones, and yet they still manage to get hot wives or girlfriends.
If looks aren’t the sole determining factor in getting a date, why base your level of confidence on this alone?
Sure, making the most of what you have is important to attract women. But feeling bad about yourself because of what you have to begin with is something else entirely.
#2: Go Beyond Skin Deep
Aside from physical appearances, one of the other things that can undermine your confidence is believing that you need to have the charm (or money) of a rock star to attract women. On the surface, it’s easy to think that flashing cash and spoiling a girl with gifts, flowers and all the other bells and whistles are a sure-fire ticket to winning her over.
But the fact is that all of those things are smoke and mirrors – no healthy, stable relationship needed to survive on an overabundance of material wealth.
I’m not trying to preach here since everyone needs money to live comfortably. Then again, you can’t rely on this stuff to get a date or make a girl fall for you.
All the external trappings of wealth are essentially a CRUTCH that you can lean on forever.
So as long as you’re actively doing something to improve your financial situation (e.g. not living in your mom’s basement or begging for change in the streets), you don’t have to worry about lining your pockets with fat stacks of cash or having a Ferrari in your garage.
Women that use those things as the yardstick to measure a guy aren’t worth hanging out with anyway.
What you should concern yourself with is working on your MASCULINE qualities. I’m talking about things like your sense of purpose, the ability to see things to completion and not compromising your principles just to appease someone.
If you need some guidance on this, I suggest you check this out:
If you want to stop killing your self-confidence, always keep this in mind:
Having more than others may impress women on a superficial level, but what really draws them in the long run is what’s INSIDE you.
Here’s another important thing to remember…
#3: Fear Is The Path To Failure
Just because you find a woman beautiful, that doesn’t make her superior to you in any way. Otherwise, approaching a girl with the mindset that her beauty makes her better will wreck your self-confidence.
When you act like less than her equal, it makes you needy – not to mention the complete opposite of the alpha male that she’s after. The worst turn-off about this attitude is being AFRAID of offending her.
Granted that there are some things that are offensive (like being sleazy), you can’t be too afraid to use good-natured humor or poke harmless fun at her. Fear is never a good place to come from, and when she senses this in you, it’ll make her less likely to consider you as a potential boyfriend.
While you shouldn’t act like a spineless wimp hung up on her approval, you don’t have to act like a chauvinistic jerk either. This is a fine line to walk for sure, but being aware of this will help you strike that ideal balance.
It doesn’t stop there though: the other factor that fuels this fear is thinking that all your happiness and self-worth depends on whether or not you get her number.
Going into the field with this thought in your head is a great way to FAIL with women. That’s because you’ll be absolutely CRUSHED when she turns you down or gives you the cold shoulder.
You might even think that something’s “wrong” with you. This is how your self-confidence goes down the drain and makes you want to quit altogether.
You can’t look at the big picture this way. Getting rejected may sting like hell, but you the truth is that you HAVE to mess up before you can IMPROVE your game. It’s called growing pains, so you just have to suck it up and LEARN as much as you can from the experience.
If you’ve ever felt these irrational fears eating away at you, today is the perfect time to acknowledge what’s happening and cut them off from your thoughts.
You don’t have to waste your time or energy any longer on anticipating the worst, because no girl you’ll meet is going to be the last one on the planet. So why act like the fate of the universe is riding on one attempt?