How to be an Alpha Male Without Being a Complete Jerk

When you turn on the TV, it’s hard not to come across the stereotypical bad boy that women seem to love so much. Usually, this kind of guy does everything in the book to offend the leading lady, but she’ll be falling for him well before the credits roll.

You’ve probably encountered the real-life version of these guys as well – for some reason, women have no problem dating them even though they come off as complete jerks.

Whether it’s the ripped dude hogging the weights at the gym or that obnoxious guy at the bar with the tribal tattoos and Jersey Shore hairstyle, they seem to have the easiest time picking up women.

You might be asking yourself, “Man, what gives? Here I am, being a nice guy to women, but they always brush me off for one of those beer-drinking muscleheads!”

Well my friend, you’re in the same boat as hundreds of other guys. However, you don’t have to suffer the same fate as the other Average Frustrated Chumps (also known as AFCs) by giving yourself an edge over the rest of them.

As they say, knowledge is power, so all it takes a good dose of practical know-how to achieve the same alpha male status that jerks enjoy without actually becoming a jerk yourself. Wrap your mind around the following tips:

#1: Get To Heart Of The Matter

One of the biggest reasons why women love jerks so much is NOT because of the usual trappings that come with the bad boy image. If you think that those jerks are attractive because of the size of their wallet, biceps or ego, then you’ve got it all wrong.

When you strip away the superficial things that come with being a jerk, what it really boils down to is this: women dig guys who aren’t afraid of them.

One of the most repulsive qualities of the typical nice guy is well, being too nice. Being polite and respectful is fine, but it can be sickening to hang out with someone who’s too willing to bend over backwards to please other people.

Think about it this way – you wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who says, “Whatever you want” when you ask him what he likes or wants to do. In the same way, women are turned off by a guy that doesn’t mind compromising his dignity or sucking up just to be accepted.

The thing about women is that they unconsciously test a guy to see if has the backbone to stand up for himself and his opinions. That’s just their way of separating the wheat from the chaff, or the men from the boys.

That’s what women find attractive about jerks in the first place: they’re not afraid to push back when they give them an “attitude”. It’s a big bad world out there, and women respect a guy who’s able to look out for himself.

Besides, if a guy can’t handle a little resistance from a woman, what does that say about his attitude towards life?

With that in mind, how can you create a genuine aura of alpha maleness without going through a military boot camp or taking a crash course in martial arts? Read on.

#2: Be Socially Valuable

Even if you’re not a marine or the CEO of some megacorporation, you can still give off a masculine vibe in other ways. Let’s not kid ourselves here – jerks with brawns or a healthy financial situation may have an advantage, but that doesn’t mean you can’t level the playing field.

(As an aside, it definitely wouldn’t hurt to work on your looks on a BASIC LEVEL – check this out later – How To Use Your Looks To Get Women)

More than anything, chicks dig social value which is something jerks are good at projecting. Being the “leader of men” is what really reels them in, and you can give this impression by building what’s known as social value.

When you cut through the usual clich├ęs that come with being a jerk, it’s this quality that really counts. Instead of bragging about the car you drive or how much you have in the bank, a good way to convey social value without sounding arrogant is by describing a difficult situation that you handled well.

Whether it’s dealing with an abrasive co-worker or making it to an appointment in spite of a flat tire, fill her in on the details of how you successfully powered through it all even if things seemed like they were going south.

Women are interested in a partner who can stay in control when “it” hits the fan. That’s why they like it when guys don’t lose their cool when women get a bit feisty and try shooting down the guy flirting with them.

If there’s something you can learn from a jerk it’s that his sense of approval comes from within, and not from the woman he’s hitting on.

#3: Don’t Put Other People Down

This is an extension of my last tip – building social value also means not trying to make other people feel like crap. Also, this is the one jerk-y behavior that you should NOT emulate.

Women may like jerks, but they sure don’t like the kind who goes overboard and try to cut them down just to impress them. Furthermore, they aren’t turned on when they a guy belittling another man so he can raise his social status.

Instead, be the guy who adds value to other people’s lives by supporting them in a non-material way.

To get this across, tell a girl about the time you supported someone in your life, like a co-worker, a family member or your best friend. The more vivid you can describe how you helped another person get through a tough time, the better.

This kind of conversation is full of opportunities for you to demonstrate value without having to brag about superficial things (i.e. wealth or power) that don’t matter in the long run.

#4: Live The Rest Of Your Life

Is attracting women the only thing that matters to you? Of course not, and that’s why you can’t rely on women as the sole source of fulfillment and happiness in your life. This is where a great deal of neediness comes from, so you should also work on the different areas of living.

Jerks are attractive because they have other things going on their lives besides hitting on women.
Some of these guys may be annoying or bull-headed, but a lot of women are nevertheless drawn to them because they’re actually willing to walk away if these jerks feel that they’re being walked on.

Setting out to accomplish goals and displaying a general sense of purpose in life are desirable qualities since this makes women want to be part of your driven life.

It’s really a matter of looking at the dating in the proper context. Having a partner is awesome, but that doesn’t mean your life is shot to hell just because you don’t happen to have a woman in your life at the moment.