Every average Joe out there is dying to know how to keep himself from being overcome with self-doubt, anxiety, and the overall fear of “theapproach”. Are you one of those frustrated chumps with their dating life stuck in a rut?
Does it feel like there’s an invisible barrier keeping you from being truly successful with women? Do you want to know once and for all how to become the cool kind of guy that women can’t wait to be with?
Well, you can forget about “love at first sight”. Have you ever given any thought to what REALLY happens during that key moment?
I’ll tell you what it is. It’s a bunch of mental processes that took thousands of years in the making. They’re simply a series of thought patterns that have been passed throughout the centuries.
I kid you not – a woman puts you through this qualifying process which takes place in a matter of SECONDS. By the time you’re done with your opener, she will already have SIZED YOU UP from head to
toe.
That’s the truth. Now don’t go whining to me how unfair that is. If you wanna cast stones at them for being so judgmental, then you should consider how YOU pick which women to hit on.
That’s right. When that head-turning blonde passes by, do you tell yourself, “Well, that fine female appears to be a kindhearted soul who will be suitable as my life partner”?
Sure, a lot of guys want more than a one-night stand, but even men looking for a long-term relationship are just as capable of doing that split-second scanning process. You only have nature to blame for designing us to think this way.
If you want to get into the “why’s” of this whole deal, all I can say is that human beings as a whole are COMPELLED to pair up with someone demonstrating SOCIAL VALUE. Don’t think of this in a strictly material sense though.
A tricked-out ride and a platinum credit card can give you a nice polish, but all of that can fall apart if you don’t have an attitude of SELF-RESPECT to back it up. And by “self-respect”, I mean the kind of guy who doesn’t lower himself to get someone’s validation – not even (or rather, ESPECIALLY) if the other person is a hot woman who gets hit on all the time.
And that’s really why it’s important to stand out from the dozens of other guys who have all tried and FAILED to capture that hot woman’s interest. On top of her natural radar, she’s probably had plenty of practice to separate the men from the AFCs.
A LOT of what you say and do gives off subliminal signals to tip her off if you’re a low-value or HIGH-VALUE kind of guy. If you want to fall under the latter category, be mindful of certain things.
Don’t assume that these things (a.k.a. qualifying factors) are spoken out loud. Most of the social value indicators are very SUBTLE which is why a lot of AFCs miss the point.
Most of the time, they do or say something seemingly inconsequential that can actually make or break their game. It’s so subtle that even women don’t know that their attraction/repulsion switches are being flipped around.
For example, let’s talk about body language. Everyone yammers on about how important this is, but don’t really know how to convey the right kind of gestures and postures. The one thing that blows an approach from square one is when you HOVER around the girls you want to chat with.
Instead, you have to appear CASUAL so as not to give your target the impression that you want something from them. Look like you’re on your way to somewhere else as you unexpectedly turn your head towards her and deliver your opener. Once you’ve gotten herattention, slowly face the rest of your body towards the girl.
It can seem cold-hearted to guys when they realize that women will withdraw their affection once she knows they WANT it.
Don’t blame them, it’s just nature at work here. On a genetic level, they’re simply afraid of associating themselves with a low-value guy who, in ancient times, could very well lower their chances of survival.
Even if the human race has evolved in leaps and bounds, part of us are still trapped in an era that no longer exists. Think about that.
Anyway, a good approach is all about being spontaneous. Let’s say you’re at a party and you walk towards a woman hesitatingly with shifty eyes and nervous palm-rubbing.
That’s a big heap of FAIL waiting to happen dude.
Even before you’ve made actual contact, you’re already OUT of the game. In her subconscious mind, she’ll sense that nervous energy, and that tells her that you want something from her.
And when you want something from her, you’ve got “LOW VALUE” written all over your face.
BUT if it seems like you just HAPPENED to pass by and SUDDENLY wanted to start an “impromptu” (not planned) conversation…well, now we’re talking.
Ever watch the movie “Serendipity”? Though I have a weak stomach for chick flicks, I have to appreciate why the premise of meeting a HIGH-VALUE guy OUT OF THE BLUE is so appealing to women.
The right body language makes a woman think, “If this qualified male suddenly just ran into me by chance, who am I to deny fate?”
And that’s really what a good approach is all about: acting relaxed (meaning you’re NOT raring to get her out of her pants!) because you’re not wound up trying to win her validation.
Yeah, yeah, we ALL know this is what you really want…not that it’s a bad thing, of course. But in any case, being casual about it lessens her chances of throwing up a defensive shield that she uses against the lower-value men who YOU don’t want to be associated with.
So you’re talking to a beautiful woman and your hands are all fidgety. Maybe you’re playing with your drink or rubbing your hands together. NOT a good thing.
Those gestures REEK of anxiety, and that’s another sign of a low-value guy. You have to understand that staying still (yet appearing relaxed at the same time) visually gives you a higher value over guys who can’t stay put.
That also goes for leaning closer to your woman when you’re trying to talk over loud music. You’ll want to talk with a louder volume anyway, so don’t bother moving forward because it will just kill your value.
You don’t go trying to enter someone else’s space, they should get into YOURS. So, you’ll want to keep your feet about shoulder length apart and at ease WITHOUT your hands betraying your fear.
Yes…all guys feel fear, even the good PUAs. When it comes to this emotion, the only difference they have between the AFCs is that they’ve desensitized themselves to fear.
While they still feel it, they no longer respond to urges related to fear, like moving around too much or not approaching the target at all.
This is the real reason why your movements are so vital. They unknowingly give away SO MUCH about you, so you might as well give off HIGH-VALUE indicators with your body language.
The funny thing about all of this is that it’s non-verbal. You can’t simply walk up to a woman and whip out a list of the reasons why you’re a socially viable man who doesn’t lower himself for others.
You’ll have to WEAVE that into your whole game instead of telling her up front. You can IMPLY your CONFIDENCE through stories that involved you in compromising situations…or, as we’ve just discussed, through the unspoken message that your body sends to them.
Remember, women are more likely to respond to subliminal communication, so feed her intuition with the RIGHT kind of “high-value flags”. This is the only way to jumpstart her attraction circuitry and in effect, permit you a longer audience with her highness.
Of course, the trick is not to let her on to the fact that you ARE putting her on a pedestal. That’s our little secret.
Another way to jumpstart her attraction circuitry is to apply some of the methods outlined in my course, ‘Supreme Self Confidence.’ It’s a must-have for every guy who’s serious about maximizing his attraction potential:
http://www.meetysweet.com/selfconfidence/men
That’s all for now… And feel free to share your thoughts on this below!