So far, we’ve been talking a lot about meeting women and going out with them. But what happens after successfully applying the principles you’ve learned and actually ending up in a relationship with a girl?
Do you just kick back and let the chips fall where they may? The hardest part is over, right?
Reality check!
Just because she agreed to be in a relationship with you, it doesn’t mean you should expect things to work out on their own.
If you want to keep your relationship going strong for the foreseeable future, you need to be aware of the healthy and unhealthy behaviors that can affect your relationship. And with that comes some key attitudes you need to adopt.
The good news is that you’ve been doing well enough so far, so continue being the awesome guy that you are.
Just don’t forget to keep the following tips in mind:
#1: Keep Living Your Life
When there’s something new and exciting in your life, it tends to fill up your schedule pretty quickly.
You won’t notice it, but you’ll end up spending a whole LOT of your time on this new development in your life – whether it’s a new hobby, job, or meeting an amazing woman you can’t get enough of.
But like everything else in life, you should enjoy your relationship in reasonable amounts. If you dedicate TOO much of your time hanging out with your girl, it can upset the balance of your OTHER priorities, such as your family, friends and career.
For instance, your buddies are probably going to resent it when you constantly ditch them or suddenly flake out on the stuff you used to do together. Sure, it’s cool for you to spend LESS time with your friends, but don’t go overboard by completely cutting them out of your life.
Besides, don’t you think your girl is going to feel a LITTLE uncomfortable if you stick around her all time like her shadow?
As tempting it is to devote every single waking minute to your girl, let your relationship breathe a bit and attend to your other stuff.
#2: Keep Being Who You Are
Ok, so a relationship is meant to help you grow as a person and change in new, positive ways. But if you’re turning into someone who cannot exist without their partner, you’re doing it wrong.
There’s nothing wrong with occasionally asking your girl for her input when it comes to your personal affairs. Just don’t let her call ALL the shots ALL the time.
Whether it’s your job, a personal crisis, or which movie to see tonight, you should NEVER lose your personal voice on the matter.
Nowhere does it say that signing up for an exclusive, committed relationship with another person means giving up all of your personal power and letting your partner plan your life.
If anything, losing your ability to act as an independent adult is unattractive. Whether or not you’re in a relationship, you still have to be adult enough to look after yourself – being a man-child will damage your relationship in the long run.
#3: Keep Away From “Fatal Attraction Syndrome”
One thing I’ve noticed about a lot of men is that they can tend to become obsessive about their relationship, to the point of continuously bugging their girl to validate her feelings for him.
Maybe you’re pretty sure that you’re head over heels in love with your woman, and naturally you want her to reciprocate those feelings.
But you can’t pressure her into doing that, can you? People can’t feel something just because someone told them to – they need to develop those emotions on their own.
What some guys don’t understand is that anything worthwhile takes time to grow, especially a relationship.
Your girl will appreciate it if you back off a bit and let her come to her decision without “hovering” over her.
Just because she decided to enter into a relationship, it doesn’t make it the same as exchanging vows at the altar. She’s still figuring things out just like you, so you need to keep this in mind when you tell her how you feel.
Sure, it’s cool to let her know how amazing she is and how crazy you are about her – within REASON.
Don’t gush on her in a backhanded attempt to make her say the same thing. She may or may not reciprocate right there and then, so you need to be cool about it if she isn’t quite ready to take the plunge just yet.
Otherwise, things could go south real fast if you’re too pushy. A pushy attitude – along with the two other no-no’s that we talked about – adds up to being borderline OBSESSIVE about your girl and the relationship.
To her, this is scary. You need to keep away from this approach because it’ll make her feel trapped and worse, want out of the relationship.
If you look at the greater scheme of things, all of this adds up to the concept of BALANCE. Much about having a great relationship has to do with giving equal amounts of attention to the different parts of your life.
There’s a saying that goes, “A watched pot never boils”, which essentially means that focusing TOO much on a relationship robs it of any chance to grow organically.
You can’t pump it full of steroids or add anything artificial to speed up its growth. Have a little faith in yourself and your girl by giving yourselves the chance to live well-rounded lives, both apart AND together.
By adopting this attitude into your relationship, you’re showing your girl that you’re a well-adjusted adult who doesn’t depend on a relationship for validation or to feel complete as a person.
And THAT will make you far more attractive to her in the big picture. So go ahead and enjoy hanging out with your girl – just make sure you have a good sense of boundaries.