7 Ways To Make Him Love You More

By Slade Shaw
Author of Why Men Pull Away
Learn exactly what pushes men to leave…and how to NEVER feel abandoned or rejected

Why Men Pull Away…and What Makes Them STAY In Love

7 Ways To Make Him Love You More

In today’s post, I’m going to be sharing 7 weird and dirty truths about how to melt away coldness, emotional distance, and even serious commitment-phobia in your man – and transform yourself into his most irresistible fantasy.

These tips will empower you to become the rarest of women: one who understands how men think and how they actually experience relationships.

Here’s how to rewire resistance and doubt and transform yourself into the woman your man is ADDICTED to …

1. Help Him Choose You Without Hesitation By Making His Life Easier, Sweeter, And So Much More Satisfying

All guys have a secret question circling endlessly in their heart of hearts that makes all the difference when it comes to choosing the woman they want to spend their lives with.

In its most undiluted, purest form, that question is:

“Will this woman make my life more fulfilling or more difficult?”

The brutal truth is, on some level, most men are afraid to truly commit because they’re afraid you’re going to end up making things harder, not easier.

As a bachelor, life is ripe with what could happen … but as a committed man, all those glorious possibilities get narrowed down to one single choice: YOU.

So, you need to think about all the ways you can choose to make his life either more difficult or more fulfilling.

The easiest way to make any man feel fulfilled and blessed by your feminine presence is by being PROUD of him and being EXCITED about his everyday victories and efforts, even if they seem tiny to you right now.

Your man thrives on female encouragement. And most men are secretly dying – very privately and very silently – for some recognition and admiration from the women in their lives.

Simply validating his choices, supporting his wins, and admiring him out loud (bonus points if you do it where his friends can hear) makes all the difference when it comes time for him to answer his own questions about you.

2. Give Him The One Secret Thing That All Men Want (That He’ll Never, EVER Tell You About)


A man falls in love (and stays in love) based on how he FEELS about himself when he’s with you.

But, the more you make him talk about that love, the less he’ll have the space to actually FEEL it.

The lesson here? You need to be strong enough to give him the space he needs to FEEL his feelings about you.

FACT: many women become very clingy and whiny at the first sign of silence or distance.

They constantly pester for reassurance, air their insecurities, ask for more solid signs of commitment, and ask these sorts of annoying questions:

  • “Did I do something wrong?”
  • “What are you thinking?”
  • “You’ve gone awfully quiet.”
  • “Why are you being distant?”

To a man, these questions – and all the nagging and questioning that go with them – are meaningless.

The truth is, words doesn’t mean anything unless he has the SPACE to FEEL his own feelings about you.

Now is the time to back off, close the oven door, and let things cook along without interference. Trust me – the cake will taste better with a little timely neglect.

3. Use The Astonishing Power Of Sexual Enthusiasm

For a man to feel like you’re the woman his entire future revolves around, he needs to actually perceive you as a feminine spirit at your core.

This is what begets the dance of the sexes and the glorious chemistry that fuels the fire of his attraction to you.

But when you lessen his masculinity, emasculate him with words, or wall off your own femininity by acting cold, hard, and stony, you take away his power and you make him feel weak and degraded …

… and then he associates those feelings with you, which automatically triggers his barriers and causes him to back away. (Hey, I didn’t write the rules.)

The truth is, sex is VERY important to nearly all men.

And if you often turn away from him in bed, withhold sex, or act as though you’ve got more important stuff to do, you’re whittling away at the very core of your relationship’s fire and sustenance.

Look: I’m not going to tell you that you should make love even if you genuinely don’t feel like it.

But I will tell you that a woman with a healthy sexual appetite – and one whose love of sex is focused like a laser beam on HIM – is someone that most men would find very attractive.

4. Addict Him To Your Femininity Like A Guilty Teenager Smoking That First-Ever Cigarette

Your femininity is the most powerful force you will ever possess.

Through it, you’ll gain access to the most CRUCIAL key to a man’s heart: making him feel like the powerful, warrior-hearted MAN he really is. (Remember, he falls in love with you based on how he feels in your presence.)

Above all else, your femininity is what inflames his masculinity …

… it’s what turns a dismal ember into a raging, oxygen-sucking, heat-roaring towering inferno

… and makes him view you with that peculiar, powerful mixture of pride, lust, awe, and worship. When you act like a woman, you give him permission to act like a man, own his powers, and feel like a warrior …

… and secretly, he’ll ADORE you for it.

So don’t shy away from your feminine powers!

Look … you know that little “catch” in the air that happens when you say or do something particularly warm, sweet, or sexy for him?

That little “twitch” in the pit of your stomach you feel when he catches your eye after you charm him with your feminine grace or wisdom?

That’s called sexual chemistry.

It’s a sign that you’ve triggered his deepest, most masculine instincts toward you. It’s one of your most irresistible powers.

And if you use it frequently, fearlessly, and well, you will become a MAJOR victory in his life.

5. Get Him To Irrevocably Associate YOU With All The Excitement And Fun That Life Has To Offer

Listen: if you’re anything like most women, you tend to feel turned-off and “blah” about their relationship when you feel ignored, under-appreciated, and unnoticed.

Guess what? Guys feel those same exact feelings, too … but we feel them when things feel motionless in the relationship.

The trick to overcoming this lack and forcing him into a surging emotional funnel of whitewater intensity is by getting him to regularly experience fun, excitement, and momentum in the relationship.

So how the heck do you get him to do THAT?

Well, it’s very, very simple …

If a guy feels like nothing will ever change, that you are always the same, and that his sense of excitement about life is gone forever so long as he stays with you, he will VERY QUICKLY start to pull away.

Guys have a sensitive radar for boredom … truth is, we like to be kept on our toes a little. It’s a delicate balance of “free spirit” and “integrity”, and once you’ve reached it for yourself, trust me, you’ll know … because he won’t be able to stop following you with his eyes, bragging to his friends about how AMAZING you are, and constantly showering you with a warm, sexy downpour of affection, appreciation, and love.

I don’t have the time to go into the details right now, but you’ll learn the exact details of this precise, powerful strategy in Why He Pulls Awayand you’ll never again fall into the trap of neutrality and commitment-killing staleness that endangers his love for you.

6. Avoid Triggering His “Freedom-Cancer Alert” By Expanding His Life And Adding To His Dreams

You’ve probably noticed how a lot of guys seem afraid of commitment, right?

Well, it’s not because they’re loveless social robots. In fact, most men crave the companionship and loving affection of a good woman, just like you crave the love and affection of a great man.

But, men ARE afraid of what a relationship can bring …

… and that fear is centered around “freedom cancer”:

The slow, agonizing death of his hopes, dreams, and aspirations for change and growth.

If you want your man to hone in on you like a laser-beam and commit to you as powerfully and fiercely as a starving bear guards the last honeycomb of the season, you need to make sure he knows that you want to ADD to his life, not subtract from it.

So be prepared to be supportive.

Don’t whine, don’t mock, and don’t wet-blanket.

Think about giving him what he needs to be happy, not just what you feel like giving today.

Then – whether it’s your blessing for a 3 month trip to India, your encouragement with a scary new business venture, or simply a heartfelt “you look HOT today!” – give it. Unreservedly, and with full appreciation of both the man he is and the man he’s striving to become.

7. Avoid Doing The One Thing That Will CRUSH His Love Into Shriveled, Lifeless Splinters

This is possibly the MOST IMPORTANT thing you could ever learn about the male mind and how your guy experiences relationship.

Matter of fact, if you do this right, you’ll melt away his commitment fears like icicles in the noonday sun and crack open his sealed-over Love Vault like an SAS task-force.

So what is it?

You’ve got to AVOID doing this one simple, terrible thing:

Emasculating him with your razor-tongued words.

AKA: ripping his testicles off and creating an emasculated, disenfranchised eunuch with no balls, no testosterone, and no manly, foe-crushing powers left to impress you with.

Obviously, no woman does this intentionally

… and yet it still happens ALL THE TIME.


By criticizing, making light of, and belittling the very things he bases his sense of worth, manhood, and pride on.

Generally, I’m talking about his ability to make you happy. In particular, I’m talking about his ability to PROVIDE.

Let’s get specific:

  • The income he earns
  • The lifestyle he lives
  • The way he makes love
  • His ability to please you sexually, emotionally, or financially
  • The amount of time he spends with you and the family

These things are at the very core of a man’s soul.

So if you are constantly criticizing and griping about how his efforts are not enough for you, you will emasculate him, you will weaken him, and you will literally shave pieces off his soul just as if you were dragging him through broken glass.

Remember, what motivates a man is his ability to PLEASE YOU. He does this by trying to provide for you: whether that’s financially, emotionally, physically, or sexually.


To devour the full, unbridled secrets of how you can reverse self-defeating patterns in your relationship, check out Why Men Pull Away, my latest book exposing proven methods for rescuing your relationship and rewiring the intimacy in your man’s mind.

Why Men Pull Away

25 Comments on "7 Ways To Make Him Love You More"

  1. Great article Mirabelle.
    I know you are writing for women. I hope there are men out there who can be bothered learning what women need too. I do get a bit tired of how much we women put into relationships and how little so many men do.
    Perhaps it’s worth saying, make sure your man is worth YOU too. We women have needs too.

  2. Thank you for this teaching it has helped me realise that there are some mistakes i have been making but from today i will stop because i am dating a good man who loves me unconditionally without reservations i want this relationship to work thanks dear you are God sent.

  3. Hi Mirabelle and all those who read this page and many others.

    I have been following and reading the free snippets that pass through my inbox. I can undoubtedly say that Mirabelle has information that most men would be afraid to share with women. She has hit every topic with pin point accuracy.

    An 8th point I want to make.

    Realise that a man is a man. He is also a human being, prone to faults as much as success.

    He might do something that offends you greatly and he may not notice it. He will become confused if you just blank him, don’t. Because if you do that now, what happens if you do it in a relationship? It’s going to cause massive friction. What you need to do is to let him know, one of the most successful ways is to change the conversation next time to something else if he does it again. Tell him that you prefer to talk about something else, move to a more exciting or positive subject, than what ever just happened.

    Women who let men know their boundaries, without offending the other party is something men will pick up on. Women who are able and do take the lead (briefly) in the conversation when they feel the balance has been shaken are highly sought after.

    Women who don’t are dreaded, because they are seen as a lot of work. And in many cases cold and emotional! Done correctly, this can easily lead to sexual sparks flying all over the place. Or a giving a man something to work with. Again this is all about connection.

    This works even if you’re getting a little bored of what ever is happening. Tricky to pull of, but the reward is definitely worth it.

  4. julie Humphrey | April 25, 2013 at 4:08 am | Reply

    So basically, men can’t handle criticism of any kind! LOL!

  5. Excellent post. I’m dealing with many of these issues as well..

  6. MeetYourSweet | May 20, 2013 at 9:02 am | Reply

    Hi Chris, thanks for your excellent insight! It’s indeed better for everyone involved to be open about your feelings without being accusatory or confrontational. You can do this by making an observation of the situation by saying something like, “It really upsets me when you talk about my friends like that.” This is definitely a better alternative to saying, “Are you being insensitive on purpose to annoy me, or are you just born that way?” Even worse would be the silent treatment like you said, and try to brush it off by saying, “I’m fine” even though you’re seething inside.

  7. ihejirika Maryjane | October 28, 2013 at 10:43 pm | Reply

    This is beautiful nd well written,I must say its a Five star piece!

  8. Hey guys,
    Well i did all those this and lost my man. the one man who loved me tgrough it all. we still friends (some what). How do i get him bck? He said time will tell but i want him back? But how ???

  9. Hi there thank you so much, I’m in a new relationship 11 years after my husbands death, we are off colour, but really love one another, and all I want is to make my man happy and to make him whole again because he also lost wife and children in an accident, him being happt and feeling special is important to me. So this is a blessing in disguise, thank you thank you thank you once again.

  10. Hi Caprice, I recommend you check out our 2nd Chance course which will help you get back with your ex:


  11. Hi Anitha, thanks for reading and I hope you’re doing better.

  12. Sac Longchamp Fushia | July 8, 2014 at 10:13 am | Reply

    TYVM, wonderful job! Just the stuff I needed.

  13. I tried all of this with my husband of 20 years. Was a supportive wife, always uplifted him and helped him reach his goals, etc. He left me for the “bitchy” woman. The one who likes to argue, where it escalates into physical abuse. Basically he wanted the antithesis to everything you described above. I find this with many men, they seem to want a woman who is “difficult”. I don’t know if it’s the excitement or adrenaline rush from all of the arguing and perhaps the making up afterwards is an aphrodisiac. Any thoughts?

  14. Hey this is just a tremendously insightful post, thank you merabelle… I did all stupid insecurity type things and lost the person who is my love my life my everything…. I just lost him in a second…. I tried convincing him pleaded in front of him… done everything to make him believe that I just can’t live without him… but all these made him more distinct… I want him mirabelle… can you help me to do so. I tried downloading your ex back system second chance… but I failed as click bank not authorized to process it here… can you help me with it???

  15. Louise Blayney | November 6, 2014 at 7:48 pm | Reply

    One thing Toastmasters has taught me is how to give and receive criticism in a positive way. For every negative point you wish to raise be specific and detailed but also have two positives on either side of the negative so that the person receiving the criticism is left feeling positive but also has some constructive ideas on how to improve. e.g if they are always late but well presented you could say You look amazing and obviously took your time with your appearance and you cleaned the car as well. Maybe if you planned your time better you could still look good but be on time. Your sense of humour and style are amazing and i enjoy spending time with you.

  16. I have come to understand why I have not been happy with so many men in my life. It’s a shame that it took me so long to understand it. They were good men too. I told the secret to one man. He didn’t say a word. I hung up the phone and decided that I was wrong yet again. He called me back in ten minutes and wouldn’t stop talking. He was the happiest I had ever, in our 3 months together, heard him. There was also a man who I was contemplating getting involved with. He lived on the other side of the country. So I told him the same thing. Again silence. Again I hung up the phone. Twenty minutes later he called me and was absolutely ecstatic
    . I simply had told each of them the same thing. It was that I wanted just one thing
    from them. I didn’t want their money, I didn’t want them to buy me a car, I didn’t need them to buy me a house. I could work and get those things for myself.
    What I wanted from them I couldn’t get alone. I wanted them to give me themselves
    That was all. Just give me themselves. And apparently made both of us happy.


  17. Nice- informative and a great reminder of what men need to feel good in a relationship. So easy to choose happiness over drama.

  18. Zehra Mwajasho | November 8, 2014 at 3:57 am | Reply


  19. I just have one question – is it ok for a guy who has a girlfriend to want a 3 months trip to India? Doesn’t being in a relationship mean to actually *be* there for your partner, even if it means to give up certain things? How can you abandon someone you love and do you really love them if you know you won’t be seeing them in the first place and being there for them for three months? I am totally for giving your man space to be his own person but this is where I definitely draw the line. If he is ready to leave me for such a lenghty period, then he’s clearly not in love with me.
    I wonder what a girl will hear if she tells her boyfriend that she’s gonna be absent for three months. Guess that’ll be the last time she hears from him 🙂
    It’s not my personal experience, just saying 🙂

  20. Hi there,

    It is my first time to read this article but find it very informative. I wish men would read this as well.

    Cheers keep it up.


  21. Carolyn .L. Martinez | June 19, 2015 at 2:26 pm | Reply

    May be someone out there knows what i am talking about and know how its like to be invisible mostly by the one person you are in love with. I was in love an unhappy married man.His marriage was going to limbo and i was the only one there for him. He only saw me as a friend but he was more than that to me. I wish i had the heart to tell him before the went ahead and got married then, may be he would never had be unhappy and may be we both would have been together. Yeah it turned out i was too much or a chicken. Though we are together now literally because of the spell Metodo Acamu a very powerful spell caster i must say helped me cast to make him love me just as i loved him. A lot of people may have different opinion as to if what is did is wrong or right but really, it do not matter because he was in pain and his life was falling to pieces and i was his friend who was in love with him. I knew he was going to be happy with me and he is now. For the first time in three years i have he really happy i mean he tells me every time how free he feels . We are perfect together and i know we are always going to be like this. This would not be the case if not for the spell Metodo Acamu helped me cast. All that was required of me were just the materials that was going to be used to prepare the spell and note Metodo Acamu does not do spells for money i wish i knew why but i do not. He told me that i should get the materials needed for the spell preparing he told me to get them myself and if i can’t find the materials all i had to do was send the total cost for it so he can help me. It wasn’t easy to get them but i found them but it took a lot form me i would advice against getting them yourself because there are not only hard to but also difficult to mail believe me. I am only writing this short article for those out there with problems similar to the one i had. If you want to contact him use this email its what i used metodoacamufortressx@(yahoo). com rewrite this email in the usual email standard form for use.

  22. This article shows clearly how easy it is to spoil something great. It also shows how easy it is to put things right. It comes down to believing that your man has you at the heart of things and that he will come out just like the sun does and when you’re least expecting it.

  23. Mirabel God bless the day I met you. You’re just excellent at what you do. I love this…

  24. See trending problem here and through other related material. Some of these suggestions actually condones poor male behavior when the situation is an abusive and selfish one. If you never speak up how do you correct any behavioral problems? Speaking up sometimes gets lumped in with whining and nagging, like a survival cry that falls on deaf ears or get dismissed. That’s despairing and heartbreaking. If the woman is not happy, even if she can superficially make the man act happy using the strategies above, having the man “gladly” accept all these things but still being selfish, the woman is providing to feed HIS ego and to make HIM feel better… but she is still fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled and un-cared-for. Problem cannot be solved by the man acting more sexually interested in her because her other fundamental needs are not taken care of. It’s not a balanced relationship…. here it’s like the woman is a mother that gives into the child’s whims; the child will never grow up, never mature, and will only know to take and not give back.

  25. There are some interesting points in time in this article but I don?t know if I see all of them center to heart. There is some validity but I will take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we want more! Added to FeedBurner as well

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