{"id":919,"date":"2017-11-06T03:28:25","date_gmt":"2017-11-06T03:28:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=919"},"modified":"2018-06-04T21:48:18","modified_gmt":"2018-06-04T21:48:18","slug":"when-youre-tired-of-waiting-on-his-promises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/when-youre-tired-of-waiting-on-his-promises\/","title":{"rendered":"When You\u2019re Tired of Waiting on His Promises"},"content":{"rendered":"

By James Bauer<\/em>
\nAuthor of The Secret Love Instinct<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

What If You Knew What Men Secretly Wanted, but They Could Never Tell You… Don’t Forget To Check Out\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>T<\/em>he Secret Love Instinct<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n

The Power of Presence to Banish Nervous Habits<\/h2>\n

Has this ever happened to you?<\/p>\n

He swears he\u2019s in love with you. He wants you to have a future together. He makes a promise to you.<\/p>\n

But\u2026<\/p>\n

He\u2019ll delay telling his friends you\u2019re his girlfriend, promising to do so when the timing is better.<\/p>\n

He\u2019ll find a place for the two of you to live together as soon as his lease runs out. He\u2019ll propose as soon as he has the money for a ring.<\/p>\n

So many promises. So much hope.<\/p>\n

Weeks pass. You mention his promises. He swears to you that he\u2019s onto it. You just have to be patient.<\/p>\n

Months pass. You mention his promises. He tells you to stop nagging him. You need to trust him.<\/p>\n

A year passes. You stop mentioning his promises. Somewhere deep inside, you know the truth. He never intended to live up to his word.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re in that situation, it\u2019s hard to know what to do. You want to believe him so much. This is the man you want a future with, after all.<\/p>\n

But you can\u2019t deny the evidence. You can see that he\u2019s done nothing.<\/p>\n

Living in limbo is painful. You want to move forward, but he\u2019s holding back. You don\u2019t know why, and you\u2019re not sure if you want to know why. You may learn something you wish you\u2019d never learned.<\/h3>\n

When a man\u2019s words don\u2019t match his actions, you have a few options:<\/p>\n

#1. You can give him the benefit of the doubt.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Maybe he\u2019s being honest with you about the timing not being right, or not having the money. You can be the better person. You can be patient.<\/p>\n

#2. You can push a little harder.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Maybe he\u2019s procrastinating. Maybe he\u2019s forgotten about the promise he made. Surely he\u2019ll appreciate a little reminder. Or two. Or three.<\/p>\n

#3. You can apply a little leverage.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

You can give him some space and see if that lights a fire under him. Or you can issue an ultimatum: either he lives up to his promises or he loses you.<\/p>\n

#4. You can put the truth on the line. <\/strong><\/h3>\n

You don\u2019t know why he\u2019s not taking action on what he promised you. So ask him. Tell him your fears. Tell him you\u2019re worried that he made that promise just to make you happy. Watch his face closely. Ask your gut what it thinks.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I think of each of those options. I\u2019ll finish by telling you what I\u2019d recommend, and why it will bring you closer than ever.<\/p>\n

Option #1 has its pros and cons.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Giving your loved one the benefit of the doubt is a good idea. It\u2019s one of the qualities that make relationships last. Couples who don\u2019t automatically assume the worst of each other do better than couples who jump to conclusions about each other\u2019s motives.<\/p>\n

But, when you\u2019re in a new relationship, you don\u2019t actually know what his motives are. You don\u2019t know him well enough yet. So you might do well to be cautious.<\/p>\n

Option #2 is problematic.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If he\u2019s promised to do something to move your relationship forward, then it\u2019s not your responsibility to remind him. Nagging him can backfire. He might feel that you don\u2019t think he can do it by himself. He\u2019ll dig his heels in even further.<\/p>\n

Option #3 can work in some circumstances, but I don\u2019t recommend it.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If there\u2019s one person you don\u2019t want to have to play games with, it\u2019s your future husband.<\/p>\n

This is a very popular strategy, though. It gives you a feeling of power. It satisfies the part of you that thinks he should pay for not following through on his promises. Some experts recommend it as a one-time thing. If the threat of losing you gets him to finally \u201cput a ring on it,\u201d then surely it can\u2019t be too bad.<\/p>\n

My view is that:<\/p>\n

The way you start a relationship should be the way you mean to continue.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I recommend Option #4, talking to him about it.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Honesty takes guts. It\u2019s scary to ask your loved one a question when you\u2019re afraid to hear his answer. But if you can summon up the courage to ask, and the courage to listen non-judgmentally to what he has to say, then you are so far ahead of most couples.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s how successful teams work. They don\u2019t blame each other for not moving the project forward. They don\u2019t play games. They use frank, honest talk to get clear about what needs to be done and what\u2019s holding it back.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s on your team. Talk to him.<\/p>\n

Be honest about what\u2019s at stake for you. Find out what\u2019s at stake for him. Give him permission to be truthful with you. You\u2019ll be building skills you\u2019ll use for a lifetime to come.<\/p>\n

Hey by the way, do you know that there’s this one trait can trigger a powerful emotional attraction, in your man?<\/p>\n

I created this video for you that explains everything:<\/p>\n

Video: The #1 Trait Men Desire In A Woman<\/a> <\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"The<\/a><\/p>\n

To your success in love and in life!<\/p>\n

Kind regards,<\/p>\n

James Bauer
\nRelationships Coach and Author<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By James Bauer Author of The Secret Love Instinct What If You Knew What Men Secretly Wanted, but They Could Never Tell You… Don’t Forget To Check Out\u00a0The Secret Love Instinct The Power of Presence…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":920,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/919"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=919"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/919\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1704,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/919\/revisions\/1704"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=919"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=919"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=919"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}