{"id":634,"date":"2014-01-12T03:36:15","date_gmt":"2014-01-12T03:36:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=634"},"modified":"2018-05-29T22:25:40","modified_gmt":"2018-05-29T22:25:40","slug":"mr-good-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/mr-good-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"Should you settle for Mr \u2018Good Enough\u2019?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Mirabelle Summers
\nAuthor of Get A Great Guy Guide<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

If you want genuine men and not just any man, this will challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story,\u00a0<\/strong>check this out…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Free Video: Get A Great Guy Guide<\/strong><\/a><\/em><\/h3>\n

Should you settle for Mr \u2018Good Enough\u2019?<\/h2>\n

Have you ever wondered if you should settle for a guy you\u2019re just not 100% into?<\/p>\n

You\u2019re dating a guy who\u2019s funny, smart, reasonably good-looking and is always extremely kind and generous to you.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s great with your friends and he thinks you\u2019re the most amazing woman to ever have walked this earth.
\nThe problem? You\u2019re just not quite \u2018feeling it\u2019.<\/p>\n

You like him\u2026 but it\u2019s not really love. You enjoy his company\u2026 but there are no sparks flying.<\/p>\n

You want to be in a relationship\u2026 but you\u2019re not sure he\u2019s the right guy.<\/p>\n

So what do you do? Dump him and wait for Mr Perfect to come along or commit and try to make the best of what you have?<\/p>\n

A while ago Mirabelle asked readers whether a woman should ever settle for less when choosing a life-partner, and this led to a WHOOOLE lot of debate.<\/p>\n

So today I thought I\u2019d shed some more light on each side of the debate, and share my own thoughts on the topic as well. And of course, we would love to hear what YOU think at the end!<\/p>\n

The case for waiting for your \u2018soulmate\u2019:<\/strong><\/h3>\n

You should not commit to anyone less than your soulmate. Although infatuation may not last, it is a key foundation from which deeper love and commitment can grow. Without this base, a relationship with remain shallow and unfulfilling.<\/p>\n

If you commit to a man you don\u2019t feel very passionate about, you may always be looking elsewhere. And if you do settle, there is a chance that you could meet \u2018The One\u2019 a few years down the track\u2026 making for a horrible, awkward and PAINFUL situation.<\/p>\n

Forever is a long time to be spending with someone you\u2019re not really that into. You may end up plagued with self-doubts and jealous of couples who DO have \u2018the spark\u2019. And you don\u2019t want to look back on life with any regrets.<\/p>\n

In addition, if you go into a serious relationship or marriage without really loving the other person, everything they do is going to annoy you more and there will be less keeping you together when times are tough.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, BELIEVING in your love from the start will help you to stay committed.<\/p>\n

As a final note, it\u2019s not fair on the guy you\u2019re with if he\u2019s madly in love with you while you\u2019re only feeling lukewarm. He may always be plagued by a sense that you don\u2019t love him completely \u2013 leaving BOTH of you feeling empty inside.<\/p>\n

The case for settling for \u2018Mr Good Enough\u2019:<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Okay, switching to the other side now. First of all, is Mr \u2018Perfect\u2019 even real? And if so, how long is he going to take to get here?<\/p>\n

Waiting around for years for your \u2018soulmate\u2019 while you pass up man after man that could have made a loving husband and father could leave you single and alone as your child-bearing years draw to an end.<\/p>\n

And who wants to end up alone?<\/p>\n

If you keep passing up on the \u2018pretty good\u2019 options you may never find someone better later \u2013 so when you feel you\u2019re at the right stage in life to be settling down and starting a family, you should nab the best prospect and tie him down.<\/p>\n

In relation to this, Mirabelle previously went over how Lori Gottlieb, author of \u201cMarry Him! The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough\u201d argues that when it comes to marriage, women should prioritize a man\u2019s inner qualities before love.<\/p>\n

Gottlieb\u2019s argument goes that as long as a man has all of the important qualities we are looking for, such as kindness, honesty and loyalty, this is all we need to have a successful marriage – even if feelings of passion and being \u2018in love\u2019 are absent.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s true that when you marry, you want to know that you will be compatible with your husband in the long run – these inner qualities ARE important.<\/p>\n

But is that ENOUGH? To have a nice, dependable man, even if he\u2019s not your Prince Charming? Could you GROW to love him more?<\/p>\n

This side of the fence would say YES; comfort and security are the things that will make a marriage last, over the attraction and desire which will only decline anyway.<\/p>\n

My perspective\u2026<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Okay, I\u2019ve laid out the two sides of the debate. And as you can see, there are pros and cons to each \u2013 and you\u2019ve got to decide on best the decision for you if you are ever faced with this dilemma.<\/p>\n

But I gotta tell you, I\u2019m with Mirabelle on this one. When it comes to committing to a serious relationship or marriage, you only want to be doing that with a guy you truly love.<\/p>\n

Believe me. I\u2019ve had my share of dates, and I never lasted more than two with a guy that was clearly a LOT more into me than I was into him.<\/p>\n

I often gave it another chance after the first date to be sure, but figured that if I still wasn\u2019t feeling it on the second then there was no point in trying to force it.<\/p>\n

I have also seen a few friends in the same situation – take this example:<\/p>\n

A good friend of mine, Renee*, was being pursued by a guy I knew called Tyler* for about six months.
\n*Names have been changed for privacy purposes.<\/p>\n

In a lot of ways, they seemed like they\u2019d be really good for each other. They were both good-looking, very social, enjoyed the outdoors and had degrees under their belts.<\/p>\n

The problem was that Renee didn\u2019t feel much sexual chemistry between herself and Tyler \u2013 especially compared to what she had felt with her ex.<\/p>\n

But eventually, tired of being single and not having met anyone better, Renee decided to \u2018settle\u2019 for him. She hoped that their chemistry would grow over time.<\/p>\n

What happened next was painful to watch.<\/p>\n

For two long years, Renee stayed committed to Tyler, while growing less and less interested in him. Over that time, gained almost all of the power in the relationship, to the point where she was basically ordering Tyler around.<\/p>\n

And let me be clear here \u2013 Renee is a lovely person. She would never mean to hurt anybody \u2013 but her lack of passion and affection was sucking all the energy out of her relationship.<\/p>\n

And poor Tyler was turning more and more into a hopeless puppy-dog, completely in love but with no knowledge of how to win Renee over.<\/p>\n

He frequently endured being turned down when trying to initiate sex with Renee, and having his ego smashed to a pulp in the process.<\/p>\n

Eventually, Renee realized that her feelings for Tyler hadn\u2019t changed, neither were they ever likely to. So while regretting causing him pain, she did what was best and broke up with him.<\/p>\n

Renee vowed to never settle again for someone she was not 100% sure about, as all it did was cause heartbreak and turn her into a person she didn\u2019t want to be.<\/p>\n

Luckily, Renee and Tyler are both now in relationships with people they are truly in love with, and are both a lot happier as a result.<\/p>\n

So through experiences such as Renee\u2019s and my own, I\u2019ve drawn the conclusion that it is better to wait for that guy who DOES make your heart start beating wildly in his presence.<\/p>\n

The guy who has all of the core qualities you are looking for, as well as that INTENSE sexual attraction. He doesn\u2019t need to be perfect, but he does have to be perfect to you.<\/p>\n

Okay, I\u2019ve said my bit\u2026 and now it\u2019s time for you to say yours.<\/p>\n

What do YOU think about the Mr Perfect versus Mr Good Enough debate? Are you with someone who started off as \u2018Mr Good Enough\u2019?<\/p>\n

Please share below, I can\u2019t wait to hear what everyone thinks!<\/p>\n

Also, don’t forget to check this out…<\/p>\n

Free Video: Get A Great Guy Guide<\/strong><\/a><\/em><\/h2>\n

\"Get<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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