{"id":2152,"date":"2018-08-13T00:01:11","date_gmt":"2018-08-13T00:01:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=2152"},"modified":"2018-08-05T22:05:57","modified_gmt":"2018-08-05T22:05:57","slug":"feeling-jealous-try-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/feeling-jealous-try-this\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Jealous? Try this."},"content":{"rendered":"

By James Bauer<\/em>
\nAuthor of The Secret Love Instinct<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

What If You Knew What Men Secretly Wanted, but They Could Never Tell You… Don’t Forget To Check Out\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>T<\/em>he Secret Love Instinct<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Feeling Jealous? Try this.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Josh was spending a lot of time at work.<\/p>\n

Marian didn\u2019t mind. Not at first.<\/p>\n

She was proud of her fianc\u00e9. He told her the work he was putting in now would pay off in the form of a better life for both of them.<\/p>\n

But then she attended Josh\u2019s office Christmas party \u2026 and met Sarah.<\/p>\n

Sarah was in her 20s, with long blond dreadlocks and a silver nose ring. She was vivacious, flirtatious, and seemed to have several men from the office wrapped around her little finger. Including Josh.<\/p>\n

Marian came home that night furious. She wouldn\u2019t talk to Josh for days.<\/p>\n

He told her their relationship was entirely professional. That\u2019s just how Sarah was. It\u2019s not like they were ever alone together.<\/p>\n

But Marian didn\u2019t believe him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI trust Josh,\u201d she told me, \u201cbut I don\u2019t trust that woman. You should see what she wears! I mean, I\u2019m all for casual office attire, but those tight t-shirts cross a line.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo let me ask you something,\u201d I said. \u201cWhat emotion are you feeling right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnger. Definitely anger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would you say if I suggested you might be feeling jealous?\u201d<\/p>\n

Marian flinched. \u201cAbsolutely not. That\u2019s annoying. Jealous of some \u2026 teenager?\u201d<\/p>\n

I nodded.<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s one emotion that\u2019s got a majorly bad rap these days, it\u2019s jealousy.<\/p>\n

No one wants to admit to being jealous.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Prior to the 1970s, jealousy was considered a normal part of love. If you loved someone, of course you got jealous. You didn\u2019t have to be embarrassed about it.<\/p>\n

You can see some remnants of this way of thinking in dating advice that urges you to make him jealous if you want him to fight for you.<\/p>\n

Show him he\u2019s got competition.<\/p>\n

If he\u2019s not going to do the work, you\u2019ve got other options.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s one thing to make him jealous but quite another to feel that unwanted emotion creeping up in yourself.<\/p>\n

Jealousy is painful. Ever heard a friend say, \u201cIf he so much as looks at another girl, I\u2019ll kill him\u201d? It\u2019s easier to direct anger at him than to admit you feel threatened.<\/p>\n

But Esther Perel has a different perspective.<\/p>\n

In her latest bestseller The State of Affairs, Perel suggests that the jealousy provoked by the thought of your man straying can rekindle a lackluster relationship.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s because it lights a fire under you. Nothing turns up the heat in a relationship more than the thought of someone else trespassing on your territory.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s my advice to you.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be afraid of jealousy. Use it to your advantage.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not by sparking jealousy in him\u2014I never recommend flirting with other men to make your guy jealous\u2014but by acknowledging it and honoring it in yourself.<\/p>\n

Here are 3 steps to turning those feelings of jealousy from pain into the pleasure of success.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Recognize that other women are attracted to your man.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Until the office Christmas party, Marian hadn\u2019t really considered what other women thought about her fianc\u00e9. She assumed they knew he was off limits, and that was that.<\/p>\n

But that night, she saw Josh through Sarah\u2019s eyes. She saw how attractive he was. She saw how other women might deem him a catch.<\/p>\n

Feel proud that you have him and they don\u2019t.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

When I suggested this to Marian, she felt strangely empowered.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d been with Josh for so long that she took him for granted. They were in that stage of their relationship where it was about getting on with their lives, rather than obsessing over each another.<\/p>\n

Marian could see how getting attention from someone as young and ditzy as Sarah might feel flattering for Josh.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t it feel good to know that Josh is still coming home to you?\u201d I asked her.<\/p>\n

Marian nodded. She was starting to see Sarah and the whole situation differently.<\/p>\n

Use those feelings as fuel.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

That evening, when Marian got home, she gave Josh a welcome he\u2019d never forget. She didn\u2019t tell me the details, except to say she hadn\u2019t seen such a big smile on his face for ages.<\/p>\n

She was feeling good again.<\/p>\n

The more she thought about what a handsome fianc\u00e9 she had, and what a miracle it was that he came home every night to her, the more she saw the situation with Sarah as an important reminder rather than a threat.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess it doesn\u2019t hurt to be jealous now and then,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as you don\u2019t take those feelings out on him,\u201d I reminded her. \u201cOr feel bad about your own natural emotions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Let jealousy serve you, but don\u2019t let it be your master. Let it remind you how lucky you are, then let it go or transform it into positive action.<\/p>\n

And before I go, I want you to watch this video below.<\/p>\n

Learn this and he’ll come at you with the energy and enthusiasm he had on your FIRST DATE<\/strong>!<\/h3>\n

Video: The #1 Trait Men Desire In A Woman<\/a> <\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"The<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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