{"id":1349,"date":"2018-02-09T10:19:38","date_gmt":"2018-02-09T10:19:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=1349"},"modified":"2018-07-03T04:37:30","modified_gmt":"2018-07-03T04:37:30","slug":"10-reasons-why-you-should-deal-with-your-issues-prior-to-getting-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/10-reasons-why-you-should-deal-with-your-issues-prior-to-getting-married\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Reasons Why You Should Deal With Your Issues Prior to Getting Married"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Dr. LaWanda N. Evans<\/em>
\nFrom Language of Desire<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Discover how to make a man sexually obsessed with you (and only you) without even touching him\u2026<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Video: The Language of Desire<\/strong><\/a><\/h3>\n

10 Reasons Why You Should Deal With Your Issues Prior to Getting Married<\/h2>\n

Why are you choosing not to deal with your issues? Why are you refusing to deal with your own brokenness before you get married? Why are you walking around carrying all the baggage from your past into your current relationship? Why? Why? Why?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why are you jumping from relationship to relationship trying to fill a void?<\/em>\u00a0A relationship won\u2019t fix your internal struggles, and marriage will only magnify what you don\u2019t deal with<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

One of my favorite sayings is,\u00a0\u201cwho you really are and what you refuse to confront, will come out in the worst way when you get married.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

Why?\u00a0Because you\u2019ve been wearing a mask, and you work so hard at being perfect, saying the right things, and being the right person that you suppress the real you,\u00a0you suppress the\u00a0<\/strong>YOU<\/strong>,<\/em>\u00a0that nobody sees or knows but you, you turn into another person when you\u2019re in his presence, and you have gotten good at performing.<\/p>\n

What you fail to realize is that you can\u2019t keep this up for long, it will hurt you down the line, and when the REAL you surface, it will be hard to go back to being who you were, without feeling guilty, sorry for yourself, and embarrassed.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s important to\u00a0get to a place where you stop performing and be you<\/strong>, stop sweeping your issues under the rug and deal with them, stop acting like your issues are not there,\u00a0stop ignoring the signs<\/strong>\u00a0that says something is wrong, and stop pointing your finger at him and blaming him for your behaviors and actions.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

You are in control of what you do and what you say<\/strong>, you have control over you, so\u00a0stop blaming him\u00a0and\u00a0take responsibility<\/strong>; pointing your finger at him, keeps you from looking at yourself.<\/p>\n

When you don\u2019t deal with your issues, they become bigger once you get married<\/strong>.<\/h3>\n

One example I love to use is \u201canger\u201d; if you have anger issues now and you\u2019re throwing things, punching walls, breaking things you must replace, keying cars, cussing folks out at the drop of a dime, and doing other unhealthy things when you are angry, guess what, you will do the same thing when you get married.<\/p>\n

When dating, it takes a little bit longer for your issues to show up<\/strong>, because you\u2019re still in a place of\u00a0getting to know him\u00a0and nothing has triggered a strong reaction, and you\u2019re doing a good job of\u00a0hiding who you are<\/strong>\u00a0and thinking to yourself, that you can keep this under wrap and he will never know.<\/p>\n

But guess what, at some point he will find out, something is going to make you soooo mad, and guess what, you are going to go off and then he\u2019s going to wonder, who in the world did I marry and you\u2019re going to ask yourself,\u00a0\u201cwho is this person and where did she come from,\u201d<\/em>\u00a0and you will probably say to yourself,\u00a0\u201cI didn\u2019t know I could go there.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

So, don\u2019t wait until marriage to deal with your issues,\u00a0deal with your issues\u00a0now because if you don\u2019t, guess what:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. The\u00a0marriage will not last<\/strong>\u00a0and you will find yourself single again. Not because of what you didn\u2019t do, but because you refuse to deal with your issues prior to getting married.<\/p>\n

2. You will be\u00a0hard to live with<\/strong>\u00a0and every time you walk in the house, he will leave because he doesn\u2019t want to deal with the constant mood swings.<\/p>\n

You will begin to wonder why he\u2019s never home, and when he\u2019s home he never talks to you because if he\u2019s afraid to say something, because you may go off, snap at him, or cuss him out…<\/p>\n

because you\u2019re angry about something that happen or didn\u2019t happen, and your way of expressing that you need help or that something is wrong is by taking your anger out on him, which leads him to walking on egg shells in his own house.<\/p>\n

3. You will\u00a0blame him for your feelings<\/strong>, instead of taking responsibility for how you feel and stating what\u2019s causing you to feel the way you do.<\/p>\n

You will blame him, to take the light off yourself, so you don\u2019t have to look at YOU. It\u2019s easy to blame him instead of looking at yourself and expressing why you feel the way you do.<\/p>\n

You will start saying things like,\u00a0\u201cyou made me feel\u2026 \u201c<\/em>\u00a0or\u00a0\u201cit\u2019s because of you that I\u2019m acting this way\u201d<\/em>; when it\u2019s not him, it\u2019s you, your past issues, and your perception of the situation, and instead of addressing the issues, you throw a personal attack at him and hit below the belt (say things to intentionally hurt him).<\/p>\n

4. Your\u00a0perception of what a healthy relationship will be distorted<\/strong>\u00a0and you may become\u00a0paranoid about things<\/strong>. When you don\u2019t deal with your issues prior to getting married, you become accustomed to drama, issues, and challenges and if there\u2019s not an argument, something is wrong because conflict is what you are accustom to.<\/p>\n

If it\u2019s too quiet in the house, something is wrong; if he\u2019s not talking to you, he\u2019s cheating; if he\u2019s taking care of the household, he\u2019s up to something or being to nice…<\/p>\n

if he treats you like a queen, he doing it because he probably got somebody else and trying to keep you quiet, because in your mind, he can\u2019t be that nice.<\/p>\n

5. You will\u00a0become easily angry about small things<\/strong>. For example, you asked him to take the garbage out and he doesn\u2019t do it when you want him to, and as a result, you blow up and get mad because instead of seeing him as your husband, you see him as your child and you scold him for not doing what you asked.<\/p>\n

6. You will\u00a0blame him for your insecurities<\/strong>, and say things like,\u00a0\u201cit\u2019s because of you that I\u2019m this way\u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/em>but when the truth is, you were like that before your got married, and marriage is now shining a light on your internal issues you didn\u2019t address prior to getting married.<\/p>\n

7. Your\u00a0perception about his relationship with other females will be distorted<\/strong>, and you will begin to think he\u2019s not committed to you and you will have a problem with him having female friends or even speaking to other females.<\/p>\n

8. You will\u00a0become defensive about everything and automatically jump to conclusions<\/strong>\u00a0when things go wrong or when you feel like you have been treated indifferently.<\/p>\n

9. You will\u00a0punish him for what happen in your last relationship or in your past<\/strong>, and instead of dealing with what happen in your previous relationship, you take all your frustrations out on him and hold him accountable for what the last man did. Which is not fair or right, because he\u2019s not the one who hurt you.<\/p>\n

10. You will\u00a0find comfort in chaos<\/strong>\u00a0and when things are going good, you will find something wrong that will lead to an\u00a0argument or fight, because drama has become your normal.<\/p>\n

So, before you get married, deal with your issues!<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Dr. LaWanda N. Evans From Language of Desire Discover how to make a man sexually obsessed with you (and only you) without even touching him\u2026 Video: The Language of Desire 10 Reasons Why You…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1351,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1349"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1349"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2075,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1349\/revisions\/2075"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

\"Language<\/a><\/p>\n