{"id":1299,"date":"2018-01-24T06:58:53","date_gmt":"2018-01-24T06:58:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=1299"},"modified":"2018-06-05T03:18:42","modified_gmt":"2018-06-05T03:18:42","slug":"how-to-deal-with-your-rude-self-centered-boyfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-your-rude-self-centered-boyfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal With Your Rude, Self-Centered Boyfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Claire Casey<\/em>
\nAuthor of Language of Desire<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Does He Really Love You Or Is He Just USING YOU? <\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n

Watch this\u00a0special video<\/a>\u00a0now to finally find out the TRUTH.<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n

How to Deal With Your Rude, Self-Centered Boyfriend<\/h2>\n

You may not want to use the word \u201cjerk,\u201d but that\u2019s how you feel. He only seems to be interested when everything is about him. Is it even possible to have a relationship when he thinks he\u2019s the only one who matters?<\/p>\n

Dear Claire<\/strong>, I have been dating this man for a month and a half now and at the beginning, our conversations had a flow, I enjoyed spending time with him and we could be honest with each other. However, in the past couple of weeks our conversations have become very dull. He either talks for a really long time about himself, but when I comment on it or offer another conversation topic, he interrupts me consistently or dismisses it with short one-word answers or he doesn\u2019t say anything at all. I don\u2019t care about having silences or pauses with him, but I am at a point where I feel like I can\u2019t really talk to him about anything because no matter what I say, it doesn\u2019t seem interest to him unless it is about himself or his own interests\/hobbies and so I remain quiet or get immediately annoyed and frustrated.<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how to approach him about this, because I don\u2019t want to suggest he is boring or egocentric and he said in the past that he didn\u2019t feel the need to talk to me all the time and that even if it didn\u2019t seem like it, when he was with me he was always listening and always present. However, I find it hard to believe when I don\u2019t feel like we can communicate as easily\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

What should I do? \u2014\u00a0Mary<\/strong><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n


\nThe secret is to not talk so much about him<\/strong>, but to make your\u00a0conversation\u00a0about what you\u2019re experiencing and feeling.\u00a0You don\u2019t have to tell him he\u2019s being self-centered<\/strong>. In fact, there\u2019s no need to be negative at all.I think you could easily\u00a0have an insightful conversation<\/strong>\u00a0with him about this issue, Mary.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a script you can try right away\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been dating for almost two months now, and I\u2019ve really enjoyed spending time with you. I especially liked how our conversations had a flow, how I felt we could always be honest with each other. But recently it seems like there\u2019s been a change in that. I don\u2019t think we communicate as easily, but I\u2019m not sure why. Can you help me figure out what has changed?\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What he says will give you some insights into how he feels about you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Most men appreciate an honest appeal for help<\/strong>. Guys love to be asked to accomplish a task that will help a woman, and it\u2019s especially true if they can help a woman they are romantically interested in.<\/p>\n

Also, without even knowing the two of you, I can tell you one big thing in your relationship that HAS changed\u2026<\/p>\n

The two of you are moving into a\u00a0new stage of your relationship.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

When you\u00a0fall in love, EVERYTHING moves easily. There\u2019s a chemical fizz that makes it all seem good and right and perfect. And easy! But once that initial chemistry fades (and it always does) it\u2019s up to every couple to begin doing the work that builds and maintains a relationship.<\/p>\n

Men who have not been in many\u00a0romantic relationships\u00a0may not have learned how to give and take.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes guys come across as self-centered. Sometimes they really are. But\u00a0most men learn to dial back their self-centered focus when they realize the woman they love also has needs<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

But he can\u2019t read your mind, you have to be willing to have the conversation. Sometimes you even have to have that conversation a buncha times!<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the work of a\u00a0good relationship, y\u2019know?<\/p>\n

If he has been rude or dismissive, he needs to know.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

And letting him know WHEN it happens is key.\u00a0You don\u2019t have to say the words \u201cself-centered\u201d or make any accusations<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Try something like this:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you waved your hand just now and changed the subject, that felt dismissive. Is there something going on?\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Because\u00a0asking the question MAY actually reveal a problem<\/strong>. Maybe he\u2019s anxious about the deepening of your relationship, maybe he had a crappy day at work, maybe the issue you just raised scares him\u2026 Could be anything.<\/p>\n

The work of every\u00a0lasting relationship\u00a0is to work through things exactly like this.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t put off the work, even if it seems difficult. Everybody has a few faults (even you and me, gorgeous!). A man worth having will stick with you through hard times just as well as easy.<\/p>\n

Does He Really Love You Or Is He Just USING YOU? Watch this\u00a0special video<\/a>\u00a0now to finally find out the TRUTH.\u00a0CLICK HERE!<\/a><\/strong><\/h3>\n

\"Language<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Claire Casey Author of Language of Desire Does He Really Love You Or Is He Just USING YOU? Watch this\u00a0special video\u00a0now to finally find out the TRUTH. How to Deal With Your Rude, Self-Centered…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1301,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1299"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1299"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1299\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1911,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1299\/revisions\/1911"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}