{"id":1189,"date":"2018-01-10T03:29:24","date_gmt":"2018-01-10T03:29:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=1189"},"modified":"2018-06-05T04:10:19","modified_gmt":"2018-06-05T04:10:19","slug":"bitter-women-instantly-learn-to-trust-again-by-following-these-4-simple-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/bitter-women-instantly-learn-to-trust-again-by-following-these-4-simple-steps\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cBitter\u201d Women Instantly Learn To Trust Again By Following These 4 Simple Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Michael Fiore<\/em>
\nAuthor of Text The Romance Back<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

If you want to STOP putting him on the \u201cFriend Zone\u201d and you wanted to know for sure if he is in love with you, you need to\u00a0watch this video now.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Video: The SEVEN Simple Questions That Prove How He Really Feels<\/strong><\/a><\/h3>\n

\u201cBitter\u201d Women Instantly Learn To Trust Again By Following These 4 Simple Steps<\/h2>\n

\u201cBut Michael, how can I ever TRUST a man again\u00a0after what he DID<\/strong>\u00a0to me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I just stared at the computer screen, glassy eyed and sad.<\/p>\n

There I was at my desk poring through the endless stack of emails I get every day asking for relationship advice.<\/p>\n

And just like every day variations on the exact same question kept bubbling to the top again and again and bursting in my face like an endless geyser of bitterness and broken-hearted tears . . .<\/p>\n

Questions like:<\/p>\n

\u201cMichael, my ex boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. How can I ever\u00a0trust<\/strong>\u00a0a man again?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMichael, I met a man online and he LIED to me and tried to get me to send him money. How can I ever TRUST a guy again?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMichael, I thought my boyfriend wanted the same future I did but instead of proposing he broke up with me. I gave him my best years and got nothing in return. How can I ever TRUST a man again?\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And on and on and on . . .<\/p>\n

Thousands and thousands of women nursing battered and broken hearts and stuck somewhere between\u00a0wounded suspicion<\/strong>\u00a0that \u201call men are scum,\u201d and bright-eyed hope that the prince you\u2019ve been waiting for is still on his way.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever felt yourself feeling\u00a0inconsolably bitter and unable to trust men<\/strong>, read the rest of this article right now and watch the\u00a0special video<\/a>\u00a0I\u2019m going to tell you about in just a moment as I teach you the four \u201csimple\u201d steps to instantly eliminating bitterness and learning to trust again no matter how badly you\u2019ve been wounded in the past.<\/p>\n

Step 1: Stop Confusing \u201cTrusting\u201d a Man With Hoping He\u2019ll Meet Your Secret Expectations<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Quick Quiz: Without looking at the dictionary app on your phone, what does trust mean to you anyway?<\/p>\n

Got an answer? Can you say it in 10 words or less? Or is it more a \u201cfeeling\u201d that makes your heart thump with desperate longing?<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the funny part:<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019ve asked a lot of women this exact same question and most of them have had a\u00a0VERY hard time<\/strong>\u00a0saying exactly what \u201ctrusting\u201d a man (or anybody) actually means in the first place . . .<\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

Because \u2013 and this might sound harsh \u2013 but from a man\u2019s perspective . . .<\/p>\n

Most Women Don\u2019t Actually Know What \u201cTrust\u201d Means In The First Place<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Let\u2019s take a look at the definition of \u201cTrust\u201d from dictionary. com.<\/p>\n

Trust (Verb)<\/em>: To\u00a0rely upon or place confidence<\/strong>\u00a0in someone or something.<\/p>\n

Which is kind of gobbledy gook. As a guy I can tell you that to me \u201ctrusting\u201d someone means I have confidence that he or she will . . .<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Do what they say<\/strong>\u00a0they\u2019re going to do.<\/li>\n
  2. Act<\/strong>\u00a0according to their nature. (I trust sharks to act like sharks. Also lawyers.)<\/li>\n
  3. Have my back<\/strong>\u00a0in a conflict and my best interests at heart.<\/li>\n
  4. Not actively try to\u00a0hurt<\/strong>\u00a0me.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And that\u2019s kind of it.<\/p>\n

    What \u201cTrust\u201d Doesn\u2019t Mean (And Shouldn\u2019t Mean) Is Wanting A Guy To Live Up To Expectations He Might Not Even Be Aware Of (And Might Not Be Able To Or Want To Live Up To Anyway.)<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Before I get into this next part I need to say:<\/p>\n

    Some men are total scumbags who do truly terrible things to women. If you were\u00a0physically or emotionally abused<\/strong>\u00a0by a man then your lack of trust of men is as understandable as a kid who gets bitten by a dog and from then on goes into panic mode when he sees a chihuahua.<\/p>\n

    And if you were in a monogamous relationship and were\u00a0cheated on<\/strong>\u00a0that is in fact a betrayal (though that\u2019s about that particular guy not all men in general. Women cheat about as often as men these days and most men and most women don\u2019t cheat.)<\/p>\n

    BUT . . .<\/p>\n

    A Lot Of Women Who Feel Like They Can \u201cNever Trust Again\u201d Feel That Way Not Because \u201cAll Men Are Untrustworthy\u201d But Because Actual Men Never Live Up To The \u201cPrince Charming\u201d Fantasy You\u2019ve Been Told To Expect Since You Were A Little Girl<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Again, trusting someone means having confidence that they\u2019ll do what they say they\u2019re going to do (integrity) act according to their nature (don\u2019t expect a dog to act like a duck) have your back and \u201cbe on your team\u201d and not actively try to hurt you.<\/p>\n

    Nowhere on that list is the idea that you should \u201ctrust\u201d a man to live up to the\u00a0\u201cPerfect Man\u201d fantasies<\/strong>\u00a0you\u2019ve been told you should want since you were a 6-year-old playing with your Barbie dolls.<\/p>\n

    If you consciously or unconsciously expect a man to\u00a0treat you like a Goddess, never even LOOK at other women, have a penis that does magic tricks, constantly shower you with gifts, tell you all his deepest secrets, slay dragons for you and want what you want him to want even if he doesn\u2019t really want it . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Well, then it\u2019s not that you can\u2019t trust men, it\u2019s that you have an\u00a0impossible fantasy that will always leave you disappointed.<\/p>\n

    Step 2: Forgive Yourself for \u201cLetting\u201d a Man Break Your Trust<\/strong><\/h2>\n

    OK, this will be shorter than step 1, I promise. =-)<\/p>\n

    The reason so many women have trouble learning to trust men again isn\u2019t because \u201call men are assholes\u201d or anything like that . . .<\/p>\n

    It\u2019s because of SHAME<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Did your face just go beat red? Mine did. Why? Because shame is a terrible emotion and a very powerful word.<\/p>\n

    The fact is there\u2019s two reasons it\u2019s for you to trust again:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Is fear that if you give a man the\u00a0power to hurt you<\/strong>\u00a0(And loving someone means giving them tremendous power to hurt you) you\u2019ll be wounded, battered and devastated again. (Your unconscious mind thinks \u201cLast time I trusted a man I got hurt. If I don\u2019t trust a man again I won\u2019t get hurt. Done.\u201d)<\/li>\n
    2. Is the\u00a0SHAME<\/strong>\u00a0that comes from feeling like you were FOOLISH to trust the guy who broke your trust (or perhaps just disappointed your expectations) in the first place.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      And I\u2019ll tell you right now this feeling of SHAME\u2026\u00a0of having \u201cmessed up\u201d\u2026\u00a0 of being \u201cdumb\u201d and \u201cbad\u201d because you let love convince you to make\u00a0unwise decisions\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s the real reason you\u2019re so wracked by anxiety and feel that overwhelming compulsion to do a Google search, credit check, criminal background check and astrological compatibility chart on every guy you\u2019re even a little attracted to\u2026<\/p>\n

      And why you find yourself\u00a0sabotaging potential relationships<\/strong>\u00a0before they even get started.<\/p>\n

      It\u2019s because your unconscious mind doesn\u2019t want to feel \u201cwrong\u201d again.<\/p>\n

      And from your unconscious mind\u2019s point of view \u201cnot trusting any man\u201d actually guarantees that you\u2019ll never have to feel ASHAMED of yourself for \u201cbeing dumb\u201d and giving trust to the wrong guy again.<\/p>\n

      Which Is Why You Need To Forgive Yourself Right Now<\/strong><\/p>\n

      You might not even know it but if you feel like you can\u2019t trust it probably means you\u2019re ANGRY at yourself for putting yourself in a position where you could get hurt in the first place.<\/p>\n

      And the way to forgive yourself is to\u00a0UNDERSTAND<\/strong>\u00a0why you trusted in the past and accept that even though you got hurt you had the\u00a0right intentions<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

      The fact is, you trusted in the past because just like every other person on the planet you want to be loved.<\/p>\n

      And being loved means giving another person the power to hurt you.<\/p>\n

      Just because a man hurt you in the past does not mean you were wrong to trust any human with a penis. It means\u00a0you took a risk<\/strong>\u00a0and in this particular case that risk didn\u2019t give you the reward of eternal love and astonishing sex you wanted.<\/p>\n

      Listen to me:<\/strong>\u00a0You weren\u2019t foolish to love a man no matter how much he may have betrayed you or hurt you. There\u2019s nothing to be ashamed of, you were only\u00a0being human<\/strong>. When you love again you will get hurt again (though hopefully not as bad this time because you are older, wiser and your eyes are wider open.)<\/p>\n

      How do you forgive yourself?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

      You go into the bathroom, you look yourself in the eye and you tell yourself: \u201cSara, I know you\u2019re ashamed and angry and hurt over what happened with Joe, but everything you did you did with the best of intentions and I forgive you.\u201d<\/p>\n

      It\u2019ll feel really good. I promise. You might cry. (I did.)<\/p>\n

      Step 3: Eliminate \u201cVictim Language\u201d From Your Vocabulary<\/strong><\/h2>\n

      What\u2019s \u201cVictim Language?\u201d<\/p>\n

      That\u2019s a really easy question and once I tell you you\u2019re going to think of a ton of people in your life who use it all the time (in fact you probably have an Aunt who uses nothing but victim language and wonders why nobody wants to sit next to her at Thanksgiving.)<\/p>\n

      \u201cVictim Language\u201d Is When You Use Words That Give Away All Your Power And Paint You As A Passive Victim<\/strong><\/p>\n

      For example, let\u2019s talk about everybody\u2019s favorite topic . . .<\/p>\n

      CHEATING<\/strong>. (BOOO!)<\/p>\n

      I can\u2019t even tell you how many times I\u2019ve heard this exact same sentence:<\/p>\n

      \u201cHow can I ever trust a man again after what he DID to me???\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      (Ugh.)<\/p>\n

      Here\u2019s The Blunt And Honest Truth:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Nobody can make you a\u00a0victim<\/strong>\u00a0but you.<\/p>\n

      Nobody can make you\u00a0happy<\/strong>\u00a0but you.<\/p>\n

      Nobody can make you\u00a0feel<\/strong>\u00a0anything but you.<\/p>\n

      And unless somebody physically assaults you, robs you or in some other way directly attacks you, they aren\u2019t \u201cDoing anything to you\u201d at all.<\/p>\n

      In the case of cheating, it\u2019s not that he \u201cdid something to you that made you not be able to trust men again.\u201d<\/p>\n

      It\u2019s that he \u201cdid something\u201d AND now you have a really hard time trusting men.<\/p>\n

      Do you see the difference?<\/p>\n

      If you let yourself be a VICTIM it gives all the power to the guy who disappointed you or betrayed your trust.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      But if you eliminate Victim Language it means YOU have the power and YOU have control.<\/strong><\/p>\n

      And finally . . .<\/p>\n

      Step 4: Learn The Secret Truth o<\/strong>f Who Men Really Are<\/strong><\/h2>\n

      OK, do you remember 9 hours ago (man, this is getting long) when I gave you a definition of what \u201ctrust\u201d is\u00a0(and what it isn\u2019t?)<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sure you do. I said\u2026<\/p>\n

      \u201cAs a guy I can tell you that to me \u2018trusting\u2019 someone means I have confidence that he or she will . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Do what they say they\u2019re going to do.<\/em><\/li>\n
      2. Act according to their nature. (I trust sharks to act like sharks. Also lawyers.)<\/em><\/li>\n
      3. Have my back in a conflict and my best interests at heart.<\/em><\/li>\n
      4. Not actively try to hurt me.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        And that\u2019s kind of it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

        I want to close this article out by talking about number 2 up there:<\/p>\n

        \u201cAct according to their nature.\u201d<\/p>\n

        Which I could change to\u00a0\u201cAct according to his nature as a man.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

        See, in my 6 years helping literally hundreds-of-thousands of women I\u2019ve discovered that the absolute biggest problem facing most women is that\u00a0they fundamentally don\u2019t understand<\/strong>\u00a0who men are, what we want, what drives us, what \u201ctrust\u201d and \u201chonor\u201d mean to us or how to communicate with us in a way that actually works.<\/p>\n

        Bluntly: Most women treat men like we\u2019re incompetent women. (And end up alone and\/or miserable because of it.)<\/p>\n

        But I want to give you a chance to understand men deeper and better than most men understand themselves.<\/p>\n

        And I want to do it by asking you this question:<\/p>\n

        Do You Want To Know Who Men Really Are, What Men Really Want And How To Get A Man To Want You And Only You Forever?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

        If you do (and if you feel like you learned something valuable from this article) I want you to drop whatever you\u2019re doing and go\u00a0watch this special video<\/a>\u00a0I\u2019ve put together for you:<\/p>\n

        Why Men Lie To Women They Love (And How To Be The One Woman He Opens Up To And Tells The Truth)<\/a><\/p>\n

        In\u00a0this video<\/a>\u00a0you\u2019ll learn\u00a07 almost-magical questions<\/strong>\u00a0that let you know if a man really loves you the way you deserve to be loved \u2014 and if you can\u00a0finally relax and trust him<\/strong>\u00a0without fear of making the wrong choice \u2014 Or if he\u2019s just using you.<\/p>\n

        PLUS you\u2019ll hear about my \u201cThe Secret Survey: What Men Desperately Want You To Know But Will Never Tell You\u201d program.<\/p>\n

        What\u2019s \u201cThe Secret Survey?\u201d<\/p>\n

        It\u2019s a special program I put together a few years ago revealing the shocking truth about men I promise no one has ever told you before.<\/p>\n

        I created the program after I sent a message to my email list of over 80,000 men asking\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s the\u00a0one thing<\/strong>\u00a0you desperately wish the woman in your life understood about men but could never tell her?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

        The answers were shockingly emotional and revealing and have already changed the lives of tens-of-thousands of women all around the world.<\/strong><\/p>\n

        Listen: If you\u2019ve read this far down this article it means you know that the only way to trust again is to truly understand men for what we are.<\/strong><\/p>\n

        And there\u2019s nothing else in the world that can teach you that.<\/p>\n

        Go\u00a0watch the video<\/a>\u00a0now. You\u2019ll be very, very happy that you did:<\/p>\n

        \"Why<\/a><\/p>\n

        Best,<\/p>\n

        Michael Fiore<\/p>\n

        P.S. If you enjoyed this article, please share it with your friends.<\/p>\n

        P.P.S. As I say in the video \u201cYou\u2019ve been lied to by every man you\u2019ve ever met.\u201d Now, you can see that as depressing or you can watch this video and find out WHY men lie (and it has nothing to do with \u201cmen being scum\u201d or anything like that. In fact, when you find out WHY men feel like they HAVE TO lie in order to keep your respect, you\u2019ll be shocked, saddened and will get a wide smile on your face as you feel like you\u2019ve finally got the magic key to his mind and heart.<\/p>\n

        Here\u2019s the link again:\u00a0Why Men Lie To Women They Love (And How To Be The One Woman He Opens Up To And Tells The Truth)<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        By Michael Fiore Author of Text The Romance Back If you want to STOP putting him on the \u201cFriend Zone\u201d and you wanted to know for sure if he is in love with you, you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1259,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,15,17,16,22],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1189"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1189"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1189\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1924,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1189\/revisions\/1924"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1189"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1189"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1189"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}