{"id":1179,"date":"2018-01-03T01:54:59","date_gmt":"2018-01-03T01:54:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=1179"},"modified":"2018-06-05T04:10:41","modified_gmt":"2018-06-05T04:10:41","slug":"is-it-a-good-idea-to-date-your-best-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/is-it-a-good-idea-to-date-your-best-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"Is It a Good Idea to Date Your Best Friend?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Michael Fiore<\/em>
\nAuthor of Text The Romance Back<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

If you want to STOP putting him on the \u201cFriend Zone\u201d and you wanted to know for sure if he is in love with you, you need to\u00a0watch this video now.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Video: The SEVEN Simple Questions That Prove How He Really Feels<\/strong><\/a><\/h3>\n

Is It a Good Idea to Date Your Best Friend?<\/h2>\n

Today we\u2019re going to talk about\u00a0dating your best friend<\/strong>\u2026<\/p>\n

(the \u201cBest Friend\u201d question applies on both sides of the aisle.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Hannah asks\u2026<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMike, Is it a good idea to\u00a0date your best friend? I\u2019ve been friends with this guy for about a year now, he has always said he liked me as more than a friend but at the time I had just come out of a 6 year relationship which began when I was 16, so I wanted to be single and experience dating for a while. Now we have gotten so close, I think I am falling for him. His personality is amazing, he is kind, makes me laugh ALL the time, there for me whenever I need him, I trust him with my life and we always have a lot of fun together. However, I worry that it might be awkward, I am also worried that I might struggle with the physical side, having viewed him as a friend for all this time. I can\u2019t imagine my life without him though. Have you got any advice please?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u2014Hannah<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hey Hannah\u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

Is it a good idea to date your best friend?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Well,\u00a0personally *I* would never date my best friend<\/strong>, but that\u2019s mostly because I\u2019m not really into 35-year-old Jewish men and because I think it would really make his wife mad and make my girlfriend go into therapy because she would think she turned me gay.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s change your question around into a\u00a0couple different questions that I think are worth answering<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

1. Is it generally a good idea to date your best friend?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Nope<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\u201cBest Friend\u201d is a pretty powerful and magical position<\/strong>. It\u2019s the\u00a0person you tell ANYTHING<\/strong>\u00a0to, the person you know will have your back no matter what, the person who you go crying to when that guy with the abs you met at the coffee stand asks you to have a threesome with him and his work out \u201cfriend\u201d.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s generally\u00a0NOT the person you sleep with,\u00a0fall in love\u00a0with or have a\u00a0REAL relationship\u00a0with<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The great thing about \u201cBest Friendships\u201d is that\u00a0they tend to last WAY longer<\/strong>\u00a0than a lot of \u201crelationships\u201d (especially relationships you have in your early twenties \u2013 which, from your picture, seems to be about where you\u2019re at.)<\/p>\n

If you decide to date your best friend you have to\u00a0know 100% that you\u2019re pulling the heart out of that friendship<\/strong>\u00a0and screwing it up forever just for the possibility that it might turn into something deeper, sexier and more powerful (also, more boring and more critical. Nobody ever picks on their best friend as much as they do their boyfriend.)<\/p>\n

2. Can a guy and a girl really be \u201cBest Friends\u201d in the first place?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I get emails all the time asking if guys and girls can be \u201cjust friends\u201d or not. And the answer to that one is easy.<\/p>\n

YES<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 as long as that\u2019s all BOTH of them want.<\/p>\n

There was\u00a0some study<\/strong>\u00a0that came out recently that showed that in male\/female friendships the guy tends to drastically overestimate how attracted the girl is to him and the girl tends to drastically underestimate how attracted the guy is to he<\/strong>r.<\/p>\n

In other words, most of your male \u201cfriends\u201d are undoubtedly using you as late night dream material where you wear freaky stripper heels and keep ordering pizza without you even knowing it, even though you think of him as \u201cjust a friend\u201d and \u201cmore like a brother\u201d than anything else.<\/p>\n

Personally, I have quite a few female friends who are just that \u2013 friends. That doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t find them attractive or that I don\u2019t have the occasional (or frequent) carnal thought about them (some of them are really hot.) It just means that I put them in the\u00a0friend box<\/strong>\u00a0long ago and have intention of ever letting them out.<\/p>\n

Which brings us to . . .<\/p>\n

3. Should YOU Date This Guy\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Sure<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Because\u00a0he\u2019s not your \u201cbest friend\u201d and he never was<\/strong>. And you\u2019re going to lose his \u201cbest friendship\u201d soon anyway.<\/p>\n

Listen, I know YOU thought this guy was totally\u00a0100% OK with just being friends\u00a0<\/strong>with you. But that\u2019s\u00a0total and absolute BS<\/strong>. He fell for you \u2013 and pretty hard at that \u2013 a year ago and has been following you along like a puppy dog ever since trying every damned trick he can think of to get you to wake up to\u00a0what a great guy he is\u00a0and that he\u2019s right there in front of you.<\/p>\n

And every time you talked to him about some guy you went on a date with or how you wished you could just find a \u201cnice guy\u201d you basically stabbed him in the heart with your sharp, sharp eyelashes.<\/p>\n

He NEVER wanted to actually be your friend. He wanted to be your boyfriend. Or at least to get into your pants. And he\u2019s been\u00a0waiting patiently<\/strong>\u00a0for you to get over the last guy for a year now, running through every pair of stripper shoes possible in his mind and hoping against hope that someday, just someday he\u2019ll get to feel your soft, soft mouth against his (so romantic.)<\/p>\n

So here are your options:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Option 1:\u00a0Date Him<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Sounds to me like you really like the guy and he sounds like a good dude. At this young stage of your life you\u2019ll have the exact same odds of making this relationship work as any other and it\u2019s\u00a0way better to date somebody you actually enjoy<\/strong>\u00a0hanging out with than somebody who just sits around talking about WWE all day.<\/p>\n

Option 2:\u00a0Stay \u201cBest Friends\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

This will last exactly until you actually start dating somebody else.<\/p>\n

Your friendship will become more and more strained<\/strong>\u00a0as his bitterness wells up in his belly like some kind of alien baby. Eventually, you\u2019ll either have a blow up or will drift apart.<\/p>\n

The only chance you\u2019d have to keep the \u201cFriendship\u201d going would be for him to meet somebody else and go absolutely gaga for her in the near future. But at your age, most women he might date are simply not going to be cool with a guy\u2019s \u201cBest Friend\u201d being a perky blonde who he used to have a crush on. So you\u2019re screwed there too.<\/p>\n

Option 3:\u00a0Uhh\u2026 There Really Is no Option 3. I Guess You Could Play Video Games Together or Something.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Personally, I think you should date the guy<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

As to your other question about the physical side of things: it\u2019s a valid concern but I think you should go for it and\u00a0find out in the moment<\/strong>. Maybe he\u2019s got some crazy love moves that will make your body hum like a violin.<\/p>\n

Tangentially: I\u2019ve been in your position twice in my life. Once in College and once in my early thirties. Both times my \u201cbest friend\u201d was a woman who had an unrequited crush on me. And both times the \u201cBest Friendship\u201d blew up in my face and left bitter, bitter ashes.\u00a0You CAN be friends with guys, but they have to be guys who JUST want to be friends<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

And here\u2019s a bonus:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Usha asks\u2026<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cDear Michael,<\/em><\/p>\n

my boyfriend suddenly stopped talking to me since December last year . After a week I texted him and his reply was \u201ci am fine. busy. will talk to when I can.\u201d Its been 3 months now. Funnily enough we had a good time the last time we met before this happened. he is still on my gmail account but doesn\u2019t respond to my emails or text messages. What do I do ? it\u2019s been 3 months now.<\/em><\/p>\n

Thanks\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u2014Usha<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hey Usha\u2026<\/b><\/p>\n

He\u2019s not your boyfriend, he\u2019s your ex-boyfriend. And he\u2019s some kind of coward for not just telling you that you broke up. As I always say, the \u201cfade out\u201d and\u00a0silent treatment is the absolute worst way to end something with someone<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

So what do you do?<\/em>\u00a0You move on<\/strong>. You delete him from your Gmail. You learn to accept and live with the fact that you might just never know why he disappeared.<\/p>\n

Best,<\/p>\n

Mike Fiore<\/p>\n

P.S.<\/strong>\u00a0If you want to STOP putting him on the \u201cFriend Zone\u201d and you wanted to know for sure if he is in love with you, you need to\u00a0watch this video now.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

It teaches you the SEVEN Simple Questions that prove how he really feels.<\/p>\n

\"Does<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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