{"id":1066,"date":"2017-11-27T13:49:03","date_gmt":"2017-11-27T13:49:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=1066"},"modified":"2018-06-04T22:52:11","modified_gmt":"2018-06-04T22:52:11","slug":"the-art-of-avoiding-creeps-encouraging-good-guys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/the-art-of-avoiding-creeps-encouraging-good-guys\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Avoiding Creeps & Encouraging Good Guys"},"content":{"rendered":"

By James Bauer<\/em>
\nAuthor of The Secret Love Instinct<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

What If You Knew What Men Secretly Wanted, but They Could Never Tell You… Don’t Forget To Check Out\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>T<\/em>he Secret Love Instinct<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n

The Art of Avoiding Creeps & Encouraging Good Guys<\/h2>\n

Mia had a unique problem.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only guys who talk to me are the creepy ones,\u201d she told me. \u201cI try to end it pretty quick, but it\u2019s getting frustrating. What am I, a creep magnet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s a creep, exactly?\u201d I asked her.<\/p>\n

She gave me a look. \u201cYou know. A weirdo. Someone who approaches me somewhere completely inappropriate, like a convenience store, and then won\u2019t leave me alone even when I brush him off.\u201d<\/p>\n

I nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe first thing you need to know is that it\u2019s not you. You\u2019re not sending any subliminal signals that only creeps can decode.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeriously?\u201d Mia sighed in relief.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeriously.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m often struck by how easy it is to take other people\u2019s behavior personally. You might think that you did something to make someone act a certain way, when really it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s an example. A man sees a woman sitting alone at a caf\u00e9 table, reading. She\u2019s pretty, she\u2019s not wearing a ring, and she seems sad. He gathers up his courage and walks past her table. \u201cLooks like an interesting book there,\u201d he remarks.<\/p>\n

She snaps the book shut. \u201cNot interested,\u201d she says curtly as she gathers up her things. She\u2019s out the door before he\u2019s had the chance to blink.<\/p>\n

What happened?<\/p>\n

In his mind, he just failed. There must be something so wrong with him that a normal, otherwise friendly woman would reject him out of hand.<\/p>\n

But maybe how she responded had more to do with her than him. Maybe she\u2019d just lost her job. Maybe she\u2019d already been approached by two other guys that morning and she\u2019d had enough. Maybe she was in no mood for company. Who knows?<\/p>\n

What we do know is that men and women don\u2019t always know what\u2019s going through each other\u2019s minds. They make assumptions. And sometimes, those assumptions are wrong.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe next thing you need to know,\u201d I told Mia, \u201cis something about what it\u2019s like to be a man.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although men and women are equals in most areas of life, gender roles are alive and kicking in dating. Men are still supposed to make the first move. That\u2019s their job.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s tough. Guys who put themselves out there must get used to rejection. It comes with the territory. Some men do better than others. They can read a woman\u2019s signals and sense whether she\u2019s open to being approached.<\/p>\n

But not all men can.<\/p>\n

Some men can\u2019t read women at all. Because they\u2019re not sure why some women say yes and other women say no, they approach every woman they can. They treat it as a numbers game.<\/p>\n

Think of these guys as spammers. They strike up conversations anywhere, anytime, in the hope they\u2019ll get a bite. They don\u2019t just target women like Mia. As long as a woman is female, she\u2019s fair game.<\/p>\n

So what do you do when you get targeted by a spammer?<\/p>\n

And how do you distinguish between him and a genuinely good guy hoping to make a connection?<\/p>\n

I urged Mia to consider that rejection might be an art in itself.<\/p>\n

Just as there\u2019s an art to approaching someone, there\u2019s also an art to turning someone down.<\/p>\n

Before responding to anyone who\u2019s approached you, tune into your creepometer. Don\u2019t laugh\u2014you know you\u2019ve got one! It\u2019s a gut feeling that tells you whether this guy is bad news or not.<\/p>\n

If your creepometer isn\u2019t giving you a warning, then why not respond back? Consider it practice. Making small talk with strangers isn\u2019t easy, but it\u2019s an important skill.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s another reason to give the guy a chance. You may not be interested in him in the slightest, but every guy in the vicinity has just seen what happened. Men are much more likely to approach you when they\u2019ve seen you react in a friendly way to some other random guy. They see you\u2019re approachable, and it piques their interest.<\/p>\n

Now, what if your creepometer is pointing to the red?<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why mobile phones were invented. ?<\/p>\n

An easy way to let a creep down gently is to grab your phone and call someone. Even creeps tend to respect the urgency of a phone call. However, if he persists, at least you\u2019re on the phone with a friend who knows where you are and if you need help.<\/p>\n

Men who won\u2019t leave you alone can be scary. If you can\u2019t get hold of a friend on your phone, just glance at him and say, \u201cExcuse me,\u201d and head somewhere else without explanation. You don\u2019t owe an apology or an excuse to go about your business.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t waste energy trying to hide from the weirdos of the world. Just plan ahead to use your assertiveness skills if one of them shows up in your path.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let bad experiences deter you from being the open and positive person you want to be. Trust your creepometer. Good men are out there.<\/p>\n

Hey, by the way, I have a Relationship Reboot<\/strong> program that will totally change your life. Many have benefited from it. All you need to do is use your Feminine Love Instinct<\/strong> to kickstart the whole process.<\/p>\n

Video: The #1 Trait Men Desire In A Woman<\/a><\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"The<\/a><\/p>\n

Fair warning:<\/strong> once you do this, there’s no turning back. He’ll come at you with the energy and enthusiasm he had on your FIRST DATE<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

To your success in love and in life!<\/p>\n

James Bauer
\nRelationships Coach and Author<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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