{"id":1060,"date":"2017-12-12T08:20:43","date_gmt":"2017-12-12T08:20:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=1060"},"modified":"2018-06-05T03:44:53","modified_gmt":"2018-06-05T03:44:53","slug":"should-you-withhold-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/should-you-withhold-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Should You Withhold Sex?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Michael Fiore<\/em>
\nAuthor of Text The Romance Back<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

If you want to know FOR SURE if a guy truly LOVES you or not, stop whatever you\u2019re doing and check this out…<\/strong><\/em><\/article>\n
<\/article>\n

Video: How To Text The Romance Back<\/strong><\/a><\/h3>\n
<\/article>\n

Should You Withhold Sex?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/article>\n
Today, we\u2019re going to discuss whether it\u2019s a good idea to\u00a0withhold sex\u00a0from a man<\/strong>\u2026<\/article>\n
\n
Olga asks\u2026<\/strong><\/article>\n<\/article>\n
<\/article>\n
\n

\u201cHi, I have a question,<\/em><\/p>\n

I have been\u00a0dating\u00a0with the guy for three years and have been always stating that my final goal is a\u00a0marriage\u00a0and I do not want\u00a0to date for ever. He was stating that it\u2019s the same for him but we have some disagreement about my kids, we need to work on. For the last years, it looks that we only fight every time we were trying to resolve disagreement and he said we need to put marriage on hold. I suggested to place on hold intimacy till we resolve the issues. For me, intimacy is something special that is a reward for working hard. He stopped contacting me conditioning it getting back to intimacy.<\/em><\/p>\n

I am thinking was I right removing intimacy or is this the only things he want from relationship?<\/em>
\n\u00a0<\/em>
\nI appreciate your opinion or any advise.<\/em>
\n\u00a0<\/em>
\nThank you.<\/em><\/p>\n

Olga\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hey Olga<\/strong>,<\/p>\n

First, take a deep breath, because this is going to get honest. So honest that it\u2019s gonna hurt\u2026<\/p>\n

This relationship is over<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

And\u00a0BOTH of you are to blame<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

First, let me applaud you for laying down what you wanted early in the relationship. You want marriage. You don\u2019t want to date forever. You (at least you said) you made that clear to him. That\u2019s fantastic.<\/p>\n

ALWAYS BE CLEAR IN YOUR INTENTIONS.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Ladies and men, never sit around hoping that your partner will pick up on subtle clues or hints you drop. If you want marriage and kids, your partner has to\u00a0hear those words come out of your mouth.<\/b><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, that\u2019s where the good news stops\u2026<\/p>\n

It sounds like\u00a0he either lied or changed his mind<\/strong>. You mention in your email that he said he also wanted marriage at the beginning\u2026 but it\u2019s been 3 years. If he is constantly telling you to put it off, he doesn\u2019t want to get married. It might have been an idea he WAS into, and then\u00a0after a while realized that marriage wasn\u2019t for him<\/strong>, or marriage with you wasn\u2019t for him.<\/p>\n

I have a rule. If you\u2019ve been dating someone for 2 years, you should know if you want to marry them or not. Plain and simple. 2 years is enough time to know if you want marriage or not.\u00a0Does that mean you have to get married right then and there?<\/em><\/p>\n

No.<\/p>\n

But it does mean the two of you have to have a\u00a0conversation about marriage\u00a0and the future.\u00a0You both need to make sure you\u2019re on the same page<\/strong>.\u00a0And if you\u2019re not?<\/em>\u00a0Move on.<\/p>\n

The one stick in the mud here is the issue of the children. From your email, it sounds like the children are yours and from a previous relationship\/marriage.\u00a0There is a chance that the children changed his mind about marriage<\/strong>. He might have wanted marriage when it was just the two of you, but realizing he would also be a father is something he might not have been planning on.<\/p>\n

Let me be clear. There is no blame on the children here. And in fact, no blame on him either. Some men don\u2019t want to be fathers. And that\u2019s okay. Just like some women don\u2019t want to be mothers, and that\u2019s okay! He might have stuck around to see if he warmed up to the idea, or if his mind would change but that subject is a deal breaker. If he doesn\u2019t want to be a father, then he isn\u2019t going to marry you.<\/p>\n

Now some of you might be thinking\u00a0\u201cBut he isn\u2019t the FATHER, he would just be there to help out and look after them! Kind of like a great friend!\u201d<\/em>\u00a0Doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0When you marry someone with children you take on a parent role<\/strong>\u00a0no matter how big or how small. If he doesn\u2019t want any of that responsibility that is not his fault.<\/p>\n

What is his fault is sticking around after he figured that out.<\/p>\n

Now, onto a stickier topic\u2026<\/p>\n

NEVER WITHHOLD SEX.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Movies, books, and the media have given women this stupid idea that if they withhold sex from their partner, a magic switch will flip in his mind and suddenly he will see the error of his ways.<\/p>\n

WRONG.<\/p>\n

Withholding sex just hurts your relationship<\/strong>. As I talked about a couple weeks ago, when you are fighting, sometimes it\u2019s great to have sex during the fight!<\/p>\n

If you have told a man\u00a0\u201cwe aren\u2019t having sex until you apologize\/until this happens\u2026\u201d<\/em>and he either apologized or did what you wanted\u2026 IT\u2019S BECAUSE HE WANTED TO HAVE SEX AGAIN. The\u00a0apology was not meaningful<\/strong>\u00a0and doing whatever you wanted was done because he wanted to have sex.<\/p>\n

Withholding sex only causes more problems and tension within the relationship.<\/p>\n

So what do you do instead of withholding sex?<\/em><\/strong><\/h2>\n

It\u2019s simple.<\/p>\n

COMMUNICATE.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

You didn\u2019t see that one coming did you?<\/em>\u2026 Of course, you did. Because I talk about it every week. The key to a\u00a0good relationship is communication.<\/p>\n

So, Olga, what do you do?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, you need to talk to him.\u00a0You need to ask him if he actually still wants marriage<\/strong>. And this is not a conversation where he says\u00a0\u201clet\u2019s talk about this later.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0You need to know, right here and now if that is something he still wants. If it\u2019s not, you both need to go your separate ways.<\/p>\n

Wishing you all the best,<\/p>\n

Mike Fiore<\/p>\n

P.S.\u00a0Want to know if it\u2019s TRUE LOVE or not? Take this quiz right now to find out:\u00a0CLICK HERE!<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/article>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Michael Fiore Author of Text The Romance Back If you want to know FOR SURE if a guy truly LOVES you or not, stop whatever you\u2019re doing and check this out… Video: How To…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1113,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,16,20],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1060"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1917,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060\/revisions\/1917"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}