{"id":1020,"date":"2017-11-15T00:28:51","date_gmt":"2017-11-15T00:28:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/?p=1020"},"modified":"2018-06-04T23:50:23","modified_gmt":"2018-06-04T23:50:23","slug":"3-reasons-why-wont-he-talk-about-his-feelings-with-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/women\/blog\/3-reasons-why-wont-he-talk-about-his-feelings-with-you\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Reasons Why Won\u2019t He Talk About His Feelings With You"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Carlos Cavallo<\/em>
\nAuthor of Complete Commitment<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

You can go from being just “Friends With Benefits” to a Committed Relationship… Watch this to learn more…<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Free Video: Complete Commitment<\/a><\/strong><\/h3>\n

3 Reasons Why Won\u2019t He Talk About His Feelings With You<\/h2>\n

Why won\u2019t he talk about his feelings with you? You want him to open up and express his emotions to you\u2026<\/p>\n

But he doesn\u2019t seem to want to go there with you.<\/p>\n

Why do men hide their feelings?<\/strong><\/p>\n

And why do guys have such a tough time talking about\u00a0emotional topics?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The answer will probably surprise you, so hang on for a bumpy ride as we take on that emotional subject that we all love so much \u2014\u00a0Emotions!<\/strong><\/p>\n

First of all \u2013 is it true that men are taught and conditioned to\u00a0not\u00a0<\/strong>discuss their feelings?<\/p>\n

FALSE!<\/strong><\/p>\n

And, uh, kind of\u00a0true<\/em>.<\/p>\n

You see, men are naturally wired to not feel as many emotional cycles \u2013 and nowhere near as extreme as their female counterparts.<\/p>\n

We just don\u2019t derive pleasure from the verbal processing of emotions. We tend to internalize the feelings and figure them out on our own.<\/p>\n

A woman, on the other hand, needs to\u00a0bring her emotions and feelings to the surface<\/strong>\u00a0where she can see them and work on them. She also has a much\u00a0more dynamic<\/em>\u00a0level of ups and downs.<\/p>\n

The best analogy I can come up with is that a woman\u2019s emotions are like\u00a0jazz<\/strong>, while a man\u2019s emotions are more like\u00a0easy listening<\/strong>. One is more dynamic, with tempo changes and frequent dissonance.<\/p>\n

One is more\u00a0dynamic<\/em>, with tempo changes and frequent\u00a0dissonance<\/strong>. Where the guys just keep a very low-key and even keel.<\/p>\n

Keep in mind that we\u2019ve been told that sharing emotions is a healthy and normal practice, but this emotional release has been oversold. Many times, when you share certain feelings, you actually make things worse.<\/p>\n

So it\u2019s not a case of \u201cmen are wrong to hold emotions in<\/em>\u201d \u2013 and it\u2019s not wrong for women to let them out.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s just\u2026\u00a0different<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m going to share\u00a0three reasons men don\u2019t talk about their feelings with you<\/strong>, but first I want to show you a man\u2019s emotional reality\u2026<\/p>\n

A MAN\u2019S EMOTIONAL REALITY 1: He\u2019s in a double-bind when it comes to sharing his feelings<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Society encourages men to share their feelings. But when we do, our partners often aren\u2019t prepared for it. They are shocked and weirded out by it.<\/p>\n

Women believe they want men to express their feelings \u2013 but it\u2019s actually only\u00a0CERTAIN<\/strong>\u00a0feelings.<\/p>\n

And only in an amount they find they can handle. (Strangely, not unlike men handling women\u2019s feelings..<\/em>.)<\/p>\n

Men who go \u201coff road\u201d and start talking about their\u00a0deep emotional life<\/strong>\u00a0are often judged as being\u00a0unstable\u00a0and\u00a0erratic.<\/p>\n

There are many men who are very cold and \u201crobotic\u201d when it comes to emotions. But\u00a0they are not the norm.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Most of the \u201caverage guys\u201d you\u2019ll run into are very emotive and live a rich and vibrant palette\u00a0of emotions.<\/p>\n

But even the most emotive of guys will not even come close to the emotional expression you might get from a woman.<\/p>\n

A MAN\u2019S EMOTIONAL REALITY 2: Men often feel their emotions in their physical bodies<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

This habit can become destructive if a man doesn\u2019t know how to vent and manage these emotions. Very often, they can manifest themselves as a disease \u2013 and sometimes even\u00a0cancer<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Again, it\u2019s not necessary for a man to express all of his emotions, if he can manage them in a healthy way.<\/p>\n

Some guys don\u2019t express feelings well with their words, but they express them through actions.<\/p>\n

Guys\u00a0show up<\/em>. We\u00a0take responsibility<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 and\u00a0take\u00a0action<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Our way of expressing feelings and showing love is to sometimes ask you \u2026 how your car is running.<\/p>\n

Crazy, right?<\/p>\n

We speak a slightly different language, but it\u2019s not too far away that we can\u2019t learn to understand each other.<\/p>\n

A MAN\u2019S EMOTIONAL REALITY 3: Men will shift their emotions to a place where it is deemed acceptable<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Have you ever seen a bunch of guys at a sporting event? You\u2019d think you were on an alien planet.<\/p>\n

All the yelling, cheering, tears, anger\u2026 it\u2019s almost a men\u2019s emotional party!<\/p>\n

Men will often use a different medium to communicate their emotions. Or they\u2019ll find another way to purge all that steam.<\/p>\n

It just so happens that sports is a common \u2013 and\u00a0accepted<\/em>\u00a0\u2013 way for men to do this.<\/p>\n

So now that you understand his emotional reality a little better, let\u2019s talk about the three\u00a0REAL<\/strong>\u00a0reasons a man won\u2019t talk about his feelings for you\u2026<\/p>\n

REASON 1: He\u2019s \u2019emotionally unavailable\u2026\u2019<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Being \u201cunavailable<\/em>\u201d can be a reason for some men, yes.<\/p>\n

But<\/strong>\u00a0not nearly as much as all the magazines and daytime talk shows make it out to be. And it doesn\u2019t mean men are \u201cbroken.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you compare a man\u2019s emotional expressiveness to a woman\u2019s, you\u2019ll always come away with the idea that \u201che must be emotionally unavailable!\u201d<\/p>\n

Which is kind of like comparing a woman\u2019s desire to pull the engine out of her 1974 Firebird and rebuild it to a\u00a0MAN<\/strong>, and then saying that women are \u201cmechanically challenged.\u201d<\/p>\n

The fact is that it has nothing really to do with\u00a0ability<\/strong>. It\u2019s\u00a0DESIRE<\/strong>\u00a0to do it that makes us take the action.<\/p>\n

And just as most women have no real desire to rebuild engines (GENERALLY<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0speaking), men lack the desire to go into deep emotional explorations.<\/p>\n

Whole books have been written on this topic, mostly blaming men for being \u201cshut down\u201d or \u201cunavailable\u201d, when it\u2019s really a matter of perspective.<\/p>\n

REASON 2: He\u2019s not attached to his emotions\u2026<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Men simply aren\u2019t as connected to their emotional state on a day-to-day basis as women are.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not a \u201cdenial\u201d or anything like that. We just don\u2019t have a deep synthesis with our feelings.<\/p>\n

A man evolved to be able to disconnect from his emotions so that he can get the job done, and save the day.<\/p>\n

Today, a lot of \u201cfeminine literature\u201d (AKA\u00a0magazines for women<\/em>) call men out and label them as \u201cpushing their emotions away.\u201d You might even think that your man has done this when he \u2018yeah-yeahs\u2019 you or changes the subject away from something\u00a0emotional<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Let me share some of the \u201cadvice\u201d that a popular site gives when it comes to why men don\u2019t show their feelings:<\/p>\n