By Brad Browning
From The Ex Factor Guide
If you can’t tell for sure if you’re over analyzing your ex’s behavior, then check this out…
No Contact To Get Your Ex Back – Does Ignoring Your Ex Actually Work?
The ‘No Contact’ rule that you’ve probably read all about, as you were searching around the internet for ways to get back together with your ex.
What is the ‘No Contact’ strategy? It’s pretty simple, it involves ignoring your ex for a period of time after the breakup in order to win them back.
Generally speaking, most people advocate around a month of no contact after the breakup if you want your ex back.
Is this a good idea? Is this a good strategy? Does it work?
This is a strategy that I do advocate and it does often work. And the reasons why it works are actually quite scientific there’s a lot of research and real reasons why it works.
Why does this no contact thing work, why should you ignore your ex completely for say 30 days after the breakup?
Here are a couple reasons that are actually very simple and straightforward:
#1. It Gives You Time To Heal Privately
You don’t have all your emotions, your heartache and all the pain you feel after a breakup, it’s not opening the public for your ex and everyone else to see.
#2. It Prevents You From Doing Something Stupid
Secondly by ignoring your ex you’re also basically preventing yourself from doing something stupid, from having an irrational thought that it would be a good idea to send your ex to text message at 2:00 a.m. when you’re drunk to tell them that you love them and you miss them and all that.
By ignoring them completely, you’re just not going to make any mistakes and you can’t screw up when you’re not talking to your ex.
#3. It Forces Your Ex To Miss You
Now the third reason is actually a lot more subtle but it does it’s probably the most important part of the whole ‘No Contact’ strategy and that’s that it forces your ex to miss you.
When you ignore your ex after a breakup, you’re essentially forcefully removing yourself from your ex’s life.
Your ex has become accustomed to you, they’ve become very comfortable having you around and if you suddenly disappear completely from their life, they’re going to be you know in shock essentially.
And it’s going to be a lot more difficult for them to recover and it’s a lot more painful for your ex and they’re going to be a lot more likely to start to miss you.
So that’s one of the main reasons ‘No Contact’ works is that it forces your ex to start missing you. You need them to miss you if you want them back because you need them to have that decision to get back together with you.
Organically, to have them decide they want to get back together oftentimes because they miss you so much they just want to make all the pain of the break-up go away by getting back together and of course that will work to your advantage.
#4. It Allows Your Ex to Forget The ‘Negative’ Memories
Now the fourth reason that the ‘No Contact’ strategy often works extremely well is because it also in addition to making your ex miss you, it also allows them to forget and let go of some of the negative memories and sort of generally forget the reasons why they decided to break up with you in the first place.
A lot of the times, humans tend to let go of negative memories and hold on to the happier ones.
And it’s extremely likely that your ex will do this, they’ll let go of some of the negative memories, they’ll start to forget some of the reasons why they wanted to break up with you, why they weren’t happy.
And that happens a lot more effectively if you’re not talking to them and reminding them of all those same reasons they want to break up.
By ignoring them you’re giving them time to have those negative memories fade into the background.
#5. It Sends A Clear Message That You’re Moving On
And finally, the last reason why ‘No Contact’ is often an excellent strategy is because it sends a very clear signal to your ex that you’re going to move on.
You’re not going to wait around for them while they you know screw around and try and decide whether the single life is right or whether they’re able to find somebody else.
You’re just not going to be around forever, you’re going to move on to bigger and better things if your ex doesn’t reconsider the decision to break up.
And that essentially is ties into the whole concept of shifting the balance of power from your ex who broke up with you or presumably decided to break up with you or doesn’t want to get back together to you.
Because all of a sudden, you’re saying “You know what, don’t worry about it. I can live my life my on my own. I’m just going to be just fine so you know if you don’t want me in your life then I’m out.”
So that’s essentially just helping to shift the balance of power into your favor and that’s going to work to your advantage in terms of winning your ex back.
Does this strategy this ‘No Contact’ as you work for every situation and “What if it’s been three months that you broke up? What if you live together?”
There’s a lot of what-ifs a lot of questionable scenarios, most of the time I still advocate for ‘No Contact’ even if it’s some sort of modified form.
So, if you’re not sure, do apply the ‘No Contact’, but if you do have a unique situation, you can watch my free video below where I talked about this quite in-depth and you can also find my contact details to get in touch with me and ask your questions and basically just figure out whether ‘No Contact’ is the right strategy for you in your situation.