I still remember getting the call, the call I knew would come but was nonetheless shocked to hear. My friend, Johnny, after just 10 months of marriage to a girl everyone knew was wrong for him, had gotten divorced. Instead of becoming a happily-ever-after couple, Johnny and Marissa had joined millions of other Americans and become statistics. Statistics of the all-too-common divorce.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s funny how these short-term marriages and long-term miseries occur. Usually it begins with a bad case of “Oneitis.”<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t know the word Oneitis? Well, surely you know this infectious disease\u2019s symptoms:<\/p>\n
– You think you\u2019ve met the girl who\u2019s perfect for you, who you can have a great relationship with and eventually marry If you\u2019ve ever watched the classic film Swingers, then you know what Oneitis is: it\u2019s the character of Mikey!<\/p>\n Unfortunately, a lot of guys become the Mikeys of this world. And while some men may just go through this with a girl they\u2019re only dating, other guys, like Johnny, take this obsession all the way to marriage. And that\u2019s when the “disease” becomes deadly.<\/p>\n How do you know when a girl is right for you? I could write book after book after book about what\u2019s right and what\u2019s wrong, but what it comes down to are ten essential ingredients for lasting success:<\/p>\n She supports and encourages your goals and interests.<\/strong> A girl who\u2019s right for you should follow you on your path\u2013not try to re-direct it her own way. Unfortunately, Johnny\u2019s wife wanted him to do something completely different to the direction he wanted to head, so it was little wonder that their romance fizzled out so quickly.<\/p>\n Guys, if you can\u2019t be open about your feelings, interests, passions and purpose, then you shouldn\u2019t be with the girl. She should be able to listen and understand, not disregard and sneer.<\/p>\n You can accept her and her goals and interests.<\/strong> Just like a woman should support and push you on the path you want to head, so too should you be able to do the same for her. If she\u2019s into motorcycling and you hate it, or if she wants to travel the world and you just want to stay in one place, then chances are you two aren\u2019t made for each other.<\/p>\n Likewise, you should be able to understand her emotions and concerns\u2013both of you MUST be good, compassionate listeners.<\/p>\n She loves you for you, not your money and possessions. <\/strong>So many rich and powerful men have destructive relationships with women. Why? Because the woman aren\u2019t marrying these men\u2013they\u2019re marrying their money. And divorce isn\u2019t cheap, so even when these guys break up with the bloodsuckers, the women still get a hefty chunk of the pie!<\/p>\n She generally gets along with your family and friends\u2013and doesn\u2019t mind seeing them. <\/strong> So many guys seem to forget this, watching dumbly as their girlfriend pulls them further and further from their family and friends to have him all for her own. I\u2019ve got an uncle who blindly allowed himself to end all contact with his family because his wife hated them. Somehow they\u2019re still married, but is that the kind of woman you want to be with?<\/p>\n She\u2019s on the same page, spiritually, as you.<\/strong> Spirituality is a big thing for couples\u2013it can unite them like nothing else. I know so many couples who are happily married because they believe in the same God, the same purpose in life, the same deep feelings about their existence.<\/p>\n Conversely, couples who battle over the questions of life just do not have the same loving romance. A girl who\u2019s right for you doesn\u2019t necessarily have to believe in the same religious principles and dogmas as you, but if she\u2019s an atheist and you\u2019re a Christian, things may not work out long-term.<\/p>\n She wants to spend as much time with you as with her own friends and family.<\/strong> This may seem like an obvious one, but so many guys fawn over girls who only see them on THEIR schedule. If a girl is really right for you, you shouldn\u2019t have to obsess over her or ask her permission to see her. You should both WANT to see each other and miss being with one another\u2013that\u2019s a sign that you\u2019re both in love.<\/p>\n You both share the same feelings for another.<\/strong> If you know deep in your heart that you want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her, but she\u2019s non-committal and vague, then you should certainly move on. A true, loving partner should accept you completely for who you are and what you feel.<\/p>\n On the other hand, if you both feel comfortable sharing feelings with each other, and she accepts the deep things that you reveal to her, then you\u2019ve found a true catch!<\/p>\n You both make time for each other, even through work and school. <\/strong> Spending quality time with one another is crucial. If your girl is always at her job, concentrating on her career, or studying for a degree, and not making an effort to be with you, then it\u2019s time to move on. True love knows no bounds\u2013including time. While it\u2019s great to have a girl who\u2019s serious about her career and education, this can also be a relationship-breaker if she takes either too seriously.<\/p>\n Money and possessions are not as important as <\/strong>love. This is a simple one: If your girl only talks about possessions and money, if that\u2019s where her true values lie, then you might want to back out of the relationship. Every girl wants good things in life, but if she really loves you, then how much you make and how much you give her shouldn\u2019t be #1 on her priority list.<\/p>\n You both are able to put each other ahead of yourselves. <\/strong>This can be the make or break of a relationship. If she\u2019s willing to do things for you, sacrifice time with her friends or time at work to be with you and make you meals, then you\u2019ve found yourself a winner. However, if she\u2019s always cancelling dates, spending more time with her friends than with you, and never gets you any gifts or acts of service, then you\u2019ve found yourself a bitch. Move on. When she treats herself more important than you, then you\u2019re heading towards disaster.<\/p>\n In the end, you want a girl who can you be you around, and know that you\u2019re valued by her night and day. If you\u2019re in a relationship now that you want to be more serious, ask yourself if the woman you\u2019re with fulfills these 10 requirements. And if you\u2019re looking for love, don\u2019t get too far into it unless you really feel that the girl treats you right.<\/p>\n And remember: There\u2019s a big difference between “The One” who\u2019s right for you\u2026and “The One” who will become your biggest nightmare!<\/p>\n That’s all for now. Tell me if you can think of any other ways you know she’s right for you. I’d love to hear your opinion!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I still remember getting the call, the call I knew would come but was nonetheless shocked to hear. 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\n– You ignore the bitchy behavior and abuse that comes from this girl, still believing that she\u2019s “The One”
\n– You see and know girls who you know would be much better for you, but ignore them because the girl you\u2019re with is better-looking, taller, skinnier\u2013a number of superficial qualities that don\u2019t add up to the love you know you could get elsewhere
\n– You spend lots and lots of money on this girl, and she never bothers to thank you\u2013or if she does, it\u2019s less than sincere
\n– Your friends all tell you that this girl isn\u2019t right for you, but you ignore their advice
\n– Maybe your friends have even fought with this girl, but you defend her even though you know deep-down her behavior is unacceptable
\n– You spend all your time with this girl, and ignore your friends and family
\n– You find yourself calling her all the time to see what she\u2019s doing, and who she\u2019s with
\n– You can\u2019t get this girl out of your head, even when she\u2019s long gone!<\/em><\/p>\n