{"id":1049,"date":"2018-07-23T03:31:49","date_gmt":"2018-07-23T03:31:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/men\/blog\/?p=1049"},"modified":"2018-07-27T05:43:27","modified_gmt":"2018-07-27T05:43:27","slug":"ive-changed-but-she-wont-forgive-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.meetysweet.com\/men\/blog\/ive-changed-but-she-wont-forgive-me\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019ve Changed, But She Won\u2019t Forgive Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Michael Fiore<\/em>
\nAuthor of Text The Romance Back<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Bored In Your Relationship? Wondering Where the Spark and Love Went?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

These 3 Texts Will Change Your Romantic Life Forever<\/strong><\/a><\/h3>\n

I\u2019ve Changed, But She Won\u2019t Forgive Me<\/h2>\n

Hey, it\u2019s Mike Fiore and we\u2019re going to discuss how to deal with partners who have cheated\u2026<\/p>\n

Jake asks,<\/p>\n

Scenario: last year I cheated on my wife and admitted it when it happened because of guilt. It\u2019s been a year since and I\u2019ve done some REAL soul searching and I know truly I have changed for the better. (It was difficult but I did it). Not only for my wife, but for myself and the life of value I want to have.<\/p>\n

Anyways, this incident still plagues us (terribly) today. She\u2019ll take a \u201ccute waitress\u201d and turn it into \u201cAm I not good enough? You should just go fuck her too!\u201d when that\u2019s clearly not the case.<\/p>\n

I am patient and try to console her and be there for her, but the problems still keep seeming to get worse.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s at the point she\u2019s making things up, seeking validation (which I understand) but in VERY destructive ways, and often painful and demeaning.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s as though she still believes I am the same guy from 1 year ago and refuses to acknowledge any change or progress in me today, and moving forward.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s tough because I know I don\u2019t deserve this sort of mental and emotional abuse, but in a way I\u2019m trying to be patient because I know what I put her through was painful.<\/p>\n

How long can this go on? What should I do? Help!<\/p>\n

Jake<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wow. First off, you seem like a really great guy.<\/p>\n

Yes, you made a mistake, but you admitted it and have spent time working on yourself and your relationship. I\u2019m very proud of you.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s be clear:<\/p>\n

Cheating happens all the time.<\/p>\n

To think that good relationships are ones in which there is no cheating (either physical or emotional) is to live in a fairy tale bubble that doesn\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n

But, since I\u2019ve popped this bubble for some of you, let\u2019s break it down.<\/p>\n

Why did you cheat?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Well, why did you eat that second piece of cake? Because it looked good, it felt good, you wanted to and you hadn\u2019t had cake in a LONG time.<\/p>\n

Hands down, the main reason people cheat is that they are not fulfilled emotionally or physically in their relationships. When someone else gives them the attention they are craving, it\u2019s easy to cave and give in.<\/p>\n

This means that BOTH partners in a relationship are responsible. (Unless you\u2019re a serial cheater, in which case you shouldn\u2019t be in relationships)<\/p>\n

Yes\u2026 BOTH PARTNERS.<\/p>\n

Why? Well, relationships are two-way streets. Both men and women need emotional and physical attention.<\/p>\n

If one of them isn\u2019t getting the attention they need, it\u2019s not entirely their fault that they started to accept it from elsewhere. This is why the \u201cwithholding sex to get something out of your man\u201d drives me bonkers.<\/p>\n

IT DOESN\u2019T WORK.<\/p>\n

And if you\u2019ve had experiences where it does, well congratulations, you manipulated the person you love. And if you\u2019re anything like me, I don\u2019t want to manipulate anyone I love.<\/p>\n

So How Do You Prevent Cheating?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

One thing and one thing only\u2026<\/p>\n

COMMUNICATION<\/strong><\/p>\n

Talk to each other. If you feel neglected or have noticed changes, talk to your partner about them.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t an accusatory talk, or a talk where voices get raised. Find a time to be alone, put your phones down and calmly state:<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you but I\u2019ve noticed that our sex life has slowed down. I just want to make sure everything is okay. If there is something I can do to help fix it, or if there is something you need from me, please tell me\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

or<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you and I know you love me but recently, it feels like the way we communicate about love has changed. I find that I really like little touches (or acts of service, or presents, or words\u2026 whatever you think your love language is) and I am not getting those anymore. <\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not blaming you, I just want you to know that I need those and it would mean the world to me if you would do more of them. Also, I want to know if you need or want anything from me\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Phew\u2026 now that we\u2019ve hammered that out, let\u2019s get back to Jake\u2026<\/p>\n

How Do You Get Your Ex to Forgive You?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Again, it\u2019s so great that you understand why she is saying these things and acting this way Jake, and you have to tell her that. You have to have that calm, reasonable conversation with her where you say,<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you. We both know that I made a huge mistake, and I regret doing it every day. But I have also worked very hard on myself to improve and have succeeded in those improvements. <\/em><\/p>\n

I understand that I hurt you and I am very sorry, but I want us to move past this. I want us to work as a team and become stronger than ever. <\/em><\/p>\n

I know that when you make hurtful comments about other women, you are projecting your anger at me, but we have to move past that. Trust me, I have beaten myself up far worse than you can imagine. <\/em><\/p>\n

We have to forgive each other for the mistakes made. We will become stronger than ever if we work together to move past this\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

If anyone starts yelling, blaming or becoming hysterical, the conversation ends. This is not the time for that. This is constructive talking about how to move forward.<\/p>\n

Now, what happens if she never lets it go?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Well, this sucks, but you might have to move on. You have done everything you can do.<\/p>\n

You have admitted your mistake, you have worked on your mistake and you have reached out to move on together and grow stronger.<\/p>\n

If your wife refuses to work together, then it\u2019s probably best for the both to move on because you both deserve to be happy, and staying together in this manner is only going to make you bitter and your lives miserable.<\/p>\n

Don’t forget to check out the video below if you want to Put The Romance Back in Your Relationship.<\/a><\/p>\n

I wish you, and your relationship, all the best!<\/p>\n

Best,<\/p>\n

Mike Fiore<\/p>\n

Make Your Ex BEG To Have You Back Just By Sending These 3 Text Messages\u2026 CLICK HERE!<\/a><\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"Text<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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